


Sturdy

by GhostsandGhouls



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Childhood Friends, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Build, other relationships are minor - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-09-30 22:17:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20454440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostsandGhouls/pseuds/GhostsandGhouls
Summary: They've always needed each other, it's an unspoken secret.





	1. (as a tree)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [i'm a house with no windows, you're the flowers on the front porch](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8036710) by [miracleboysatori](https://archiveofourown.org/users/miracleboysatori/pseuds/miracleboysatori). 
**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tendou nods quickly, they head out back and throw a volleyball back and forth over the line. Tendou is quiet the entire time and Ushijima considers asking him about what’s going on, “Wakatoshi, do you think I’m good at volleyball?” His voice is small and it makes Ushijima falter for a moment, he recovers quickly; there’s no need to think about it, he already told Tendou what he thought.
> 
> “Yes, I do,” He reinforces the fact with words anyway, because he believes that everyone is wrong about him. The other boys on the team, who call Tendou a monster and say he shouldn’t be there, the coach who has no faith, when Tendou has clearly shown that his blocking is good...

The muttering voices sounded loud in his ears, his eyes stayed downcast as he shuffled through the halls of the school, they always said the same thing anyway, he didn't need to keep hearing it, _"He's some kind of monster."_ It never felt easy to hear, and the pace of his walking quickened, _"Look at his crazy eyes! Who would want to be his friend?"_

"Tendou Satori!" He froze, turning his head to the voice, "No running in the halls." Tendou nodded, walking the rest of the way to his class, trying to ignore the stares from other students. Tendou felt relieved once he reached the room, the moment shattered when he was faced with more staring; he quietly shuffled in, taking a seat at the back of the room and dropping his bag onto the floor. The desk seemed interesting, his gaze unwavering from the wood, anything to try and ignore the lingering stares from his classmates.

"May I sit here?" He looked up at the new voice, wondering who cared to approach him so easily; the other children were beginning to whisper again and all Tendou could do was shrug in response to the question, watching the stoic boy as he sat down in the chair beside him, "I'm Ushijima Wakatoshi."

"Ah. I'm Tendou Satori," Ushijima nodded, they sat there, with Tendou looking at Ushijima like no-one else existed, until the questions in his head got the best of him and he spoke up again, "Why would you sit here?"

"It's a fine seat. Would you prefer for me to move?" Tendou quickly shook his head, still a little surprised, but he didn't mind the company when everyone else seemed to steer clear of him.

The teacher entered the room and Tendou pulled his books from his bag. Even throughout the lesson, he found it hard to focus and kept glancing in Ushijima's direction. No-one else had willingly sat with him before, not even during elementary school, the same words had been whispered about him. That he was a freak or a monster. He'd never had friends before.

Though he wasn't sure just sitting with Ushijima constituted as a friendship, but it was nice regardless and it made him happy, just to have one person who didn't think of him that way. At the end of the lesson, Ushijima turned to Tendou and he perked up, "Tendou, do you like volleyball?"

"Yes!" His answer came out rather loudly and it caught the attention of the other students, who looked over and began whispering about them both, "I'm sorry," Tendou looked down, he didn't want to drag Ushijima into this too, it wasn't fair, "But I do like volleyball."

"Good. Then I would like to stay sat here," Tendou's head shot up, blinking furiously at Ushijima's words, "I like volleyball too." Tendou smiled and they talked about going to the junior-high club together while waiting for the next class to begin; the day seemed to look up from that moment, or Tendou believed it did anyway. They went for lunch together and Tendou listened to Ushijima talk about Shiratorizowa, how his father had played there and spoke highly of the teams ace.

The sparkle in Ushijima's eye made Tendou excited too, even if it was a few years away, he wanted to attend with Ushijima and join that team too. He'd never had anyone to talk to about volleyball either, he remembered playing in his back-yard with a few neighbours, but they grew to hate how he enjoyed shutting down their spikes. It was fun, and that's what a good blocker was supposed to do; he hadn't mentioned that detail to Ushijima yet, wary of him possibly hiding something. His blunt honesty seemed so clean-cut and while it made Tendou happy to see someone who did constantly hide things or whisper behind people's back, he wasn't going to let his guard down quite yet.

Ushijima didn't find Tendou to be strange in the slightest, even if it was all he heard students whispering about; he couldn't understand how they had time to do this when school was important to focus on and he always found it easier to talk about volleyball. Tendou was easy to talk to about it as well, others had told him he was obsessed, with something likely to be untrue; his father's stories never sounded that way and Ushijima wanted to become the best ace in Japan, reach beyond the confines of what kids his age dreamed of. Ushijima’s first goal would be to get into Shiratorizowa, become the ace for that team by any means, then a strong university team and then he would like to get onto the national team.

Ushijima’s dreams for his future of volleyball only grew. He'd played in elementary, but no-one had reached his standards and he always impressed the coach and the other teachers with his abilities on the court.

While the rest of the day had been fun for Ushijima, the lessons felt like they had dragged, until he was finally free to march with Tendou down to the gymnasium; the coach welcomed them in with a smile, "Good afternoon boys."

"Hello."

"Hi! Nice to meet you." Tendou bounded into the room behind Ushijima, looking around the gymnasium, "Wow! This is so cool!" Ushijima glances at Tendou before observing the gymnasium; it isn't much different from ones he's been in before but he understands Tendou's excitement because he's raring to play. They change and once the team is ready, the coach lines them up and makes introductions; then practice starts, Ushijima finds it easy to get into it, practising through his serves and receives with another boy. Then he's teaming up with Tendou, who blocks every single one of his spikes and he pushes harder but is still unable to break through the block by the time that the coach calls the day quits. Tendou's bouncing on the spot after they get changed and Ushijima can't help but think about how most of his shots were shut down by Tendou, "Is something wrong Ushijima?"

"Your blocks are amazing, I'm impressed."

"Thanks! People always tell me I'm too scary though."

"I don't think so. You're strong, I suppose it could be seen as scary," Tendou's nodding, Ushijima doesn't think it's just about the blocks though, he wasn't blind to the way that people had been whispering about Tendou all day, "You'll be a good addition to the team."

"You too! Your spikes are really strong, I think my hands will be hurting all night."

Ushijima peers over at Tendou's hands, where his gaze is locked on his red fingers, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be! I'm glad you don't hold back, it gives me a challenge. I want to be better and stop everyone I face." Ushijima nods, they head home in different directions, Tendou waving happily and skipping down the road, all Ushijima can do is give a wave in response and head home for the night.

* * *

The rest week at school goes about the same, with the addition of Tendou joining Ushijima in the library on the afternoon's when they don't have volleyball practice; the whispering from students is still bad, but Tendou doesn't mention it and it frustrates Ushijima, because he knows that Tendou doesn't deserve to hear those words. The rest of the team begin whispering snide comments too, calling Tendou: _guess monster_. The coach doesn’t seem to have much faith in his blocks and reminds him to do it normally. Ushijima ignores it and practices with Tendou anyway. His blocks are strong, usually extremely accurate and he wants to improve; Ushijima thinks that if can beat this, then he can beat anything.

They're sat in the library on Friday afternoon, Ushijima is helping Tendou with his English homework, when the voice in his head presses a question forward, "Why don't you say anything to them?"

"Huh?" Tendou looks up, a little surprised by the change of topic, "Say what to who?"

"The people talking about you."

"Oh. Why would I say anything?"

"Because it's cruel and wrong."

Tendou blinks a couple of times. He'd grown used to Ushijima's personality, how he was always very clear with how he felt and how he always said whatever he thought, even if it might offend someone, "It's easier to ignore it," He shakes his head, brushing it off with a wave of his hand, "Are you helping me with this?" Ushijima nods, his jaw tightening. He tries to focus on the work in front of him instead, wondering why Tendou says nothing when he knows the words sting. Tendou seems hyper-aware too, but he focuses on his work and Ushijima finds it a little easier to follow along, helping Tendou when he's struggling with something. It's late by the time they're packing up, and Ushijima is met outside by his mother, refusing to leave until Tendou's mother arrives too, to pick him up; they bid their goodbyes and head home in different cars.

* * *

The weekend goes too slowly for Tendou’s liking, he hadn’t expected to enjoy school, but Ushijima was the highlight of his days; even if the jibes from the other students hurt him, it felt worth it just to spend a moment with Ushijima. On Monday morning, after breakfast, it feels like he’s almost dragging his mother out to the car; for a second, Tendou had felt like running to school, but instead, his mother had convinced him otherwise. So, he spent the journey talking about volleyball and happily hopped out of the car the moment his mother had parked; she yelled goodbye and Tendou waved before disappearing into the main building. 

His walk to class was the same too, with people whispering about him. It didn’t bother him as much, knowing he had classes with Ushijima to look forward to and volleyball practice after lessons; Tendou made it to the classroom without running and took his usual seat, Ushijima arrived moments later and sat with him, “Morning!”

“Good morning, Tendou.”

Tendou grinned, pulling out his books, “I managed to finish my homework on Saturday. Thanks again for helping out a little. I just couldn’t get my head around the second part.”

“I’m glad you finished it,” Ushijima smiled softly, he pulled out his books and flipped to page seven, where they’d last left off on Friday, “Did you fit in any volleyball practice too?”

“Oh,” Tendou looked down, slowly turning through the pages of his book, and even once he reached seven, his fingers fiddled with the corner, “I don’t have anyone to practice with. Sometimes I’ll hit a few serves, but it’s boring alone.”

Ushijima’s brows furrowed, “Why don’t you have anyone? I’m sure we could practice.”

“They all call me scary, especially when I stop the ball,” Tendou perked up at Ushijima’s offer though, “I’d love to practice with you! There’s a park nearby, do you think that could work?”

“Yes, that should be fine,” Ushijima agrees quickly, then he remembers that they shouldn’t go off without telling anyone, “Make sure your mother knows.”

“Yeah! Of course,” Tendou grins and Ushijima finds himself smiling too. It comes easy around Tendou, he really enjoys spending time with him and he can’t understand why people keep their distance from him, “Um since we’ve known each other for a while, do you think we could call each other by our given names? Does that make you uncomfortable?”

The question is sudden, but Ushijima doesn’t dislike the idea though, “I don’t mind. As long as you’re comfortable too.”

Tendou nods, rather enthusiastically and Ushijima has to stop himself from laughing at the way Tendou’s hair flies around his head, “Okay! Thanks, Wakatoshi.”

“There’s no need to thank me. Satori, I’m glad we’re friends.”

“Me too.”

* * *

Tendou practices hard, Ushijima spends a lot of time watching him too and still, their coach is reluctant to let him play. Even when they have a practice match against one of the nearby schools, Tendou is relegated to the bench and Ushijima can't understand it. Tendou has been a little quieter lately too and Ushijima hates that, he hopes that the awful words aren’t dragging him down. He’s asked his mother why nothing is being done and she can’t give him a straight answer, sometimes she tells him that Tendou is the one who has to speak up.

The months fade away, without much change to their routine. The coach is more than impressed with how well Ushijima can spike, they win a few official matches too. Tendou is still sat on the bench throughout the celebrations; they return to school and once they’re changed, Ushijima pulls Tendou along, “We’re going for ice-cream.”

“But my mom!”

“I already got my mother to check it with her, she said she was working late anyway. We’re getting ice-cream and then you’re coming to mine,” Tendou blinks after Ushijima; they stop by the convenience store and pick up two small tubs, Tendou’s eyes widen at a tub of bubblegum and he quickly puts it into the basket that Ushijima is carrying. Ushijima picks up plain vanilla and they pick up a few soft drinks for the night. After checking out, Ushijima leads them back to his house, they’re warmly greeted by his mother, who takes the bag and puts everything away, “Satori, do you want to play for a while?”

Tendou nods quickly, they head out back and throw a volleyball back and forth over the line. Tendou is quiet the entire time and Ushijima considers asking him about what’s going on, “Wakatoshi, do you think I’m good at volleyball?” His voice is small and it makes Ushijima falter for a moment, he recovers quickly; there’s no need to think about it, he already told Tendou what he thought.

“Yes, I do,” He reinforces the fact with words anyway, because he believes that everyone is wrong about him. The other boys on the team, who call Tendou a monster and say he shouldn’t be there, the coach who has no faith, when Tendou has clearly shown that his blocking is good, “It will be better once we go to Shiratorizawa.”

“You think so?”

Ushijima nods, “We just have to work hard to get there.”

Tendou smiles, they pass the ball back and forth for a little longer, until they’re called back inside by Ushijima’s mother; they eat dinner, with Tendou chattering loudly about his plans for going to Shiratorizawa with Ushijima. Ushijima’s mom seems thrilled at the idea and encourages Tendou; Ushijima is glad. Once they’re finished, the boys wash up then head upstairs with their ice-cream. Tendou is content eating and tries to offer some to Ushijima, who refuses, “Wakatoshi, do you really think I can make it to Shiratorizawa?”

“I already said.”

“I know,” Tendou stretches out and Ushijima can’t stop himself from watching Tendou’s long fingers fanning out, “I’m just worried.”

“You don’t need to be. We can work together to get there.” Tendou nods and they quietly finish their ice-cream, only the noise of the TV filling the room.

* * *

When the first year is over, Ushijima had hoped that their second year would mean that Tendou finally left the bench. He doesn’t. They play a few three-on-three practice matches amongst themselves and it’s one of the only times that Tendou is on the court. The coach still berates him for not blocking correctly. Ushijima’s certain that there isn’t only one way to block, Tendou’s still might be unseen and unheard of, but he makes it work, and it works well.

Practice matches against other schools are still the same, Tendou’s sitting on the bench watching the match play out. The coach reminds him to watch the blockers, learn how to be like them. Most days, Ushijima feels like screaming. It isn’t fair, and life isn’t fair sometimes, he’d been told; but he’s sure Tendou looks more hopeless as the days go by. Ushijima tries to keep his spirits up, reminds him that it wouldn’t be long until they’re at Shiratorizawa. It’s so close, he can taste it and he wants to share that with Tendou. Nothing else mattered, _no-one else did_. It felt like them against the world and if Ushijima needed to, he’d drag Tendou through Shiratorizawa’s gates and show him the bright future they dreamed of. Playing on the same team.

It would be nice, Ushijima can’t shake the thought and more power goes into every serve and every spike. He’s striving toward his goal. Ushijima is quickly deemed as the ace and given vice-captaincy; he thinks that the coach knows he won’t be held back, he’ll get Tendou onto that court with him.

Ushijima’s on his way to the cafeteria for lunch when he hears scuffling in one of the classrooms. Without thinking, he bursts in and finds three boys pulling at Tendou’s hair and hurling insults at him. They freeze at the sight of Ushijima and when he scowls, they make a run for it; he could have done more, but he knows that this is Tendou’s battle. He will speak up when he’s ready. Ushijima slowly approaches Tendou and sits next to him on the floor, they don’t say anything. Ushijima raises a hand and gently combs his fingers through Tendou’s hair; Tendou looks at him but doesn’t say anything and they sit there in silence until the bell for the next class rings.

Ushijima lets Tendou stand first and then follows, they walk through the halls and Ushijima reluctantly leaves Tendou at his classroom, with a strong supporting pat on his back. Tendou smiles, he looks a little meek but Ushijima prefers to see this over nothing, so he returns the smile and heads off.

* * *

Over the weekend, Ushijima doesn’t see Tendou, and when Monday comes, he’s itching to see him. He walks quickly through the halls, being careful not to burst into a full run; when he reaches the classroom, he eyes the usual place where they sit and stops. Tendou waves brightly at him and Ushijima has to blink. His hair isn’t down as normal and is styled into spikes, students are whispering about it but Tendou doesn’t seem bothered.

Ushijima finally makes his way over and sits down, he’s unable to keep his eyes off Tendou’s hair, “Do you like it? I got some gel over the weekend and I was trying out a few things,” Maybe that’s the reason why they hadn’t seen each other; Tendou begins to feel a little unnerved by the silence and goes to reach up, Ushijima beats him to it. It's like he’s examining every strand, Tendou almost shies away from the attention, “Is it too much?”

“No. It’s nice,” Ushijima pulls his hand back and busies himself with getting his books out, he doesn’t notice Tendou blushing. He isn’t sure why he felt the need to touch his hair. In the classroom, he was sure it was because of those boys mistreating it so cruelly, “I like it.”

“Good! I’ll keep it like this.”

The days wear on and Tendou is true to his word, his hair doesn’t change and Ushijima only sees him with it down when they’re not at school. It had started as a rare day of Tendou coming over, but now it was a weekly occurrence, and Ushijima enjoyed the company. His mother seemed more than happy too and they called each other by their given names too, Ushijima had found it odd to hear someone his age use Naniko.

He’d never had friends and Tendou was still the only other person he spent time with; Ushijima usually spent his time preoccupied with volleyball or studying. He hadn’t expected for Tendou’s presence to become natural. If they weren’t out in the yard playing, they would study together, he watched his mother always ruffle Tendou’s hair when he left and he grinned. Maybe it’s where the idea of touching Tendou’s hair came from, if it made him so happy, then Ushijima could hope to provide the same feeling.

Months seeped away and the seasons blend together, Ushijima began to stay behind after practice, with Tendou, promising to clean up, and they would practice on the court together. Until they (mostly Tendou) had been too loud one night and the coach caught them; they were sat in his office being scolded, Ushijima wouldn’t usually get in trouble, he always avoided it and made sure to be the best and brightest student. They were let out and the coach watched them clean up, with a promise to allow them on cleaning duty together again; their mothers were called, and while Naniko gave an exasperated sigh, Tendou was told off again and dragged to the car.

Ushijima was confused by it, but his mother could only shake her head and usher him along. The next day at school, Tendou’s hair was down again and they were placed in seats on opposite ends of the room. Ushijima tried to work quickly, chewing his lip and when they were finally let out, he pulled Tendou into the boy's bathroom, “Satori, what happened?”

“My mom asked them to keep us separated. She knows you’re one of the best and she doesn’t want me bringing you down.”

“I won’t stop being your friend, she can’t make me.” It was the first time that Ushijima felt like defying something that he’d been told. Tendou crashed into him, wrapping his arms tightly around Ushijima’s shoulders; it took Ushijima a moment to return the embrace, but he eventually holds on tightly, just as much as Tendou does. They stand there for a few moments until Ushijima needs to pull away, their next class is looming and he knows it, his heart is pounding in his chest, “We have to go to class Satori. Meet me in the cafeteria for lunch.”

“O-okay.” They leave and head in opposite directions for their lesson.

Time feels like it drags until it’s finally lunchtime. As soon as he can, Ushijima heads to the cafeteria and quickly finds Tendou and joins him, the table is being avoided anyway, “You don’t look happy Wakatoshi.”

“Sorry. I’m happy spending time with you, I’m not happy with the way people treat you.”

“It’s okay!” Tendou smiles. Ushijima’s heart feels like it jumps at the sight and he tries to keep his confusion contained, “I’m used to it anyway. It’s not as bad with you around.” That little statement makes his stomach flip; he hopes to hide the change by eating his bento box. Tendou’s happily chewing on his own too and Ushijima slips him a few pieces of his food, he thinks that Tendou’s box looks a little bare. They eat mostly in silence, with Tendou occasionally talking about anime and manga, the noise of the cafeteria is loud around them too.

When they’re finished, they head outside for some fresh air. Tendou sits on the grass and Ushijima joins him, they enjoy the warmth of the sun, winter has just ending and the trees are beginning to sprout buds, “We’re almost in our final year.”

“Yeah. I’m excited! We’re so close to Shiratorizawa.”

“Yes, we are. Are you ready for exams?”

“I think so. We’ve been studying a lot and I think it’s helping.”

“I do too. We’ll both make it. I know we will.” Maybe it’s over-confidence but Ushijima knows that Tendou is good enough to get there with him. Their coach has already assured Ushijima that he will easily make it there, probably with a scholarship too.

* * *

Their final year comes around quicker than what Ushijima had expected, Tendou is still styling his hair and wearing it proudly, even when people make snide remarks at him for looking even crazier. He only seems to embrace it. During volleyball practices that aren’t against other schools, that image seems amplified bu ten and the coach has stopped reminding him how he should be blocking. Tendou is never on the court outside of these rare moments; during practices and official matches against the other schools, Tendou doesn’t leave the bench.

The cycle feels old now, they write their applications for Shiratoirizawa together and Ushijima is grateful that Tendou’s mother has stopped trying to prevent them from spending time together. A month in, they’re sat at the same table during their shared class and Ushijima finds himself smiling and enjoying himself. They seem to fit more studying in, even after volleyball practice, they hit the books; Naniko is still encouraging to both of them.

Ushijima isn’t sure what to think of their friendship now, some days it feels like more. Ushijima hadn’t asked about the way his body seemed to react to Tendou, he’s afraid that if he does, the pleasantness of it will slip away and he doesn’t want to lose Tendou. They’re spending every spare moment together.

Exams feel like they’re approaching far too quickly, but Ushijima is looking forward to passing them. So he can finally head to Shiratorizawa with Tendou. Teachers are pushing their studies too and even their coach reminds them to fit in their homework around volleyball practice, and around any official games they have coming up. There’s a calendar hung in the club room and on the gymnasium door.

There’s one change this year, not as many students are whispering about them. At first, Ushijima wonders if it’s just because of how much time they’ve been spending together, of how normal their routine has become. But then he also notices that fewer people comment about Tendou’s appearance. The same three boys who Ushijima had found with Tendou before are still keeping up with their remarks; Ushijima usually walks into school with Tendou now, they always meet outside and he always makes sure to glare at them. When they look more threatening, he pulls Tendou closer and tries to ignore the warm feeling he gets from their arms brushing as they walk together.

When exams finally hit, their schedule doesn’t line up as well as it used to, so they squeeze in quiet moments before volleyball practice, or try to find each other in between exams, to sit outside and eat together. They trade food a lot too and Naniko has started sending Ushijima to school with an extra pudding, which Tendou gratefully takes. Ushijima only really likes the plain ones anyway and he’d noticed the chocolate ones when he’d been making breakfast one morning; he’s glad that his mother considers Tendou too.

When the first day of exams is over, they walk home together, Tendou’s street comes first and he happily says goodnight to Ushijima, with a squeeze to his arm. It’s still burning by the time he reaches his own house, Naniko greets him and notices that his cheeks are a little red, “Wakatoshi, are you not feeling well?”

“I don’t know,” Ushijima mutters, he lets his mother pull him into a hug and sighs, “What does it mean if someone makes my chest feel fuzzy?”

“Fuzzy?”

Ushijima shrugs at her question, he doesn’t know how else to explain it, and he doesn’t want to say that this is only because of Tendou, “It feels warm, but it's nice. Only one person makes me feel this way. I’m confused.”

“Oh darling,” Naniko gently runs her fingers through his hair, smiling softly, “That just means that you like them, they’re very special to you. That’s how I felt when I met your dad.”

“Dad…?” The gears work in Ushijima’s head; he knows his parents don’t get along anymore, and his mother usually avoids mentioning his father. But if she felt that for him and they had a child...Did that mean he wanted children with Tendou? He couldn’t answer that, not yet, “I like them, a lot.”

“Yes sweetie, and it’s okay to feel that way. Come on, let's have dinner, it’s getting late. Did Satori make it home safely?”

Ushijima nods, Naniko moves back and allows him to slip his shoes off, “I saw him off,” They head into the kitchen together, Ushijima’s still thinking about his mother's words; she asks him about his day while they cook together, he tells her that exams are going well, but he’s always busy now. Naniko commends his ability to stay focused and reassures him that he will get accepted into Shiratorizawa, “Do you think Satori will join me?”

“Well he wants to and I think he’s been working hard.”

“I hope we get to play in an official match together.”

“I do too, I’d love to come and watch you both.” Naniko smiles and Ushijima’s lips follow; she’d been to every single one of his games anyway, but had expressed her disappointment when she hadn’t gotten to watch Tendou in action. Ushijima hoped that she would be able to, he always tells her just how amazing Tendou is, and the few times they’ve ended up on the same team during their smaller practice matches, they were a solid pair.

* * *

Ushijima’s reading his letter with his mother when a knock comes at the door, she congratulates him again and goes to answer the door; Tendou rushes in, kicking off his shoes as he races to find Ushijima in the lounge. He’s holding up a letter too, a wide grin on his face, “Wakatoshi, I made it! You were right.”

“I’m glad,” Ushijima can’t help but smile, he holds up his letter, and Tendou seems to glow, “I got in too.”

“I’m so happy!” Tendou bounces across the room and joins Ushijima on the sofa, “I can’t wait to go there with you.”

“Satori dear, would you like a drink?”

“No, thank you!” Naniko smiles fondly at the two of them and disappears into the kitchen to give them a moment alone, “I hope we get to play together for real.”

Tendou’s hand is automatically reaching out and Ushijima is sure his brain short-circuits when their hand's touch. He thinks it’s only Tendou being friendly and he swallows, “I hope so too.” Their eyes meet, they’re both still smiling and that familiar feeling bursts in Ushijima’s chest; it feels like they’re sat there for an eternity before Naniko shouts them into the kitchen. The spell is broken when Tendou hops up to his feet, Ushijima’s skin is almost burning with the remnants of Tendou’s touch. He wants it to happen again.


	2. (as a rock)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ushijima nods and they walk up to their room, with Tendou talking about how Ushijima is certain to make it onto the team.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know anything about volleyball, ahahaha. Sorry for any inaccuracies there.

Shiratorizowa is a lot different from junior-high; Tendou looks at everything with wonder and Ushijima finds himself smiling. His heart feels funny in his chest like it had just jumped. Ushijima doesn’t recognise the feeling but it isn’t bad, everything about Tendou makes him happy. After the orientation is over, they meet and walk to the volleyball club together, Tendou is chatting about a new anime that he just started and Ushijima’s nodding along. He doesn’t pretend to understand what Tendou is talking about, he doesn’t have an interest in anime or manga, but Tendou looks happy, it’s contagious to Ushijima.

He quietens down when they reach the club room. Ushijima is the one to knock on the door and an older boy answers, smiling brightly to them, “Hey! Come on in, some other first-years just joined us too.” He ushers them in and they find a seat. They make introductions first, then two coaches enter, Washijou and Saitou. Washijou looks strict and talks over some rules before asking them to meet on the court. Tendou is still quiet after changing and Ushijima can do nothing but lend a supporting hand, resting on his shoulder, “You will be great out there.” Tendou slowly nods. They both miss the look that Semi gives them.

Ushijima is grateful that Tendou is on the same side of the net as he is; they warm up and Ushijima thinks that Tendou looks a little less stiff. Saitou blows the whistle once and they take their places, Ushijima is determined to show his skill; he’s also excited to see what the other students have to offer. Saitou tosses a coin and it’s the other team to start, the whistle blows again; the first serve easily floats over the net. It’s saved by Tendou, with a sloppy receive and one of the third years gets it to Semi, his set is solid. Ushijima hits it with all his might, and even facing two blockers, it flies past them easily; the noise as it hits the floor is loud, like a crack of thunder and everyone eyes Ushijima.

Tendou cheers and pats Ushijima’s shoulder, “You’re so reliable Wakatoshi!” Ushijima smiles. The whistle blows again, snapping everyone back into the game; Semi is serving now for their side and it goes over the net in the same way. A set goes up, to Soekawa, Tendou is already prepared to block and Ushijima follows him. Soekawa seems to analyse them, then he hits it and Tendou switches easily, stopping the ball; the other side look impressed, and Ushijima feels proud because they don’t look scared by Tendou. It’s different from junior high and he can feel it. They look determined too and that’s how Ushijima had always felt if he was across from Tendou.

The match continues, it’s just one short set and their side wins fifteen to twelve. Washijou approaches Tendou, with a curious look, “You, what’s your name again?”

“Tendou Satori!”

“Hmm, I like the way you play. It’s interesting.”

Then he leaves with a nod and a half-smile towards Ushijima; Tendou beams up at Ushijima and bounces on the spot, “He likes me!”

“You’re a good blocker,” Ushijima smiles at Tendou and they head into the changing room together. The team are quick to compliment Ushijima, he replies to them with a soft _thank you_ and a bow; he starts to get changed and he’s happy to overhear them asking Tendou about his blocking. Nothing is official yet until Washijou puts them on the team, but Ushijima feels more confident for it happening. The team change fairly quickly and are out the door in a flash; Tendou is walking ahead with Semi, talking animatedly with him. Ushijima’s chest feels a little tight and he doesn’t know what it means, he’s glad his hands are stuffed into his pockets as they ball into fists. They reach the dorms and Tendou bounces over to him with a grin, “You look like you’re enjoying yourself.”

“I am! They don’t think I’m scary, Eita said I’m a little weird, but I don’t mind that as much,” Ushijima nods and they walk up to their room, with Tendou talking about how Ushijima is certain to make it onto the team. He’s glad to see that confidence from Tendou, it makes him happy and his chest feels warm again, a mirror of how he felt watching Semi and Tendou talking. He wants Tendou to make friends and get along with the team, the feeling is confusing to him, “Wakatoshi, will you read the new Shonen Jump with me?”

“Yeah.” Tendou lets them into their room and they sit together on the floor, Tendou pulling out the most recent issue of Shonen Jump. They read through it, or mostly Tendou does and he pauses on the pages to allow for Ushijima to read through the ads. When they finish, they sit down and do some studying together too.

Tendou is the first to start yawning and Ushijima smiles at him, “We should get some rest, it’s getting late and it’s been a long day.” Tendou nods, eyes already half-closed; Ushijima stands first and helps Tendou up to his feet. They get changed, Tendou a lot slower than Ushijima and he flops onto his bed, Ushijima is the one to pull the covers over Tendou, who smiles softly and wiggles into them. Ushijima’s heart skipped a beat at the sight and he smiled; seeing Tendou looking so comfortable was soothing and he turned to go to bed. Falling asleep easily, with Tendou’s sleepy smile in his head.

* * *

A few days later, the team meet for another volleyball practice and Washijou has laid out their new rotation for the year. Ushijima gets put in on the main rotation, Tendou is a substitute, the coach says they usually only allow one first year on their rotation and he wants to see more of what Tendou is capable of.

Ushijima automatically reaches out and squeezes Tendou’s hand, “Next year.” His voice is quiet, so only Tendou will hear it and he smiles softly, squeezing back. Once the meeting is over, all the first years head for food together, the walk is calming, with Tendou at Ushijima’s side talking about how excited he was to play and show Washijou what he can do. Ushijima nods along with him, smiling at the thought of getting into a game with Tendou at his side. They reach the cafe quickly and it’s a small squeeze for all of them; they need to fan out over two tables, three per table.

Ushijima, Tendou and Semi are on one, while Oohira, Soekawa and Yamagata take up the other. Tendou is the first to start up a conversation, “As first years, I think we should all stick together and we should use our given names, we’re going to be spending the next three years together.”

“You’re too pushy.”

Tendou gasps and gently pushes Semi, “Eita! Don’t be so rude, I thought we were getting along.” The two of them start to bicker and Ushijima can feel his jaw tensing, there’s a tap on his arm and he turns, faced with Soekawa.

“Wakatoshi, are you comfortable with us using given names?”

“Yes. Satori is right, we will be spending a lot of time together over the next three years.”

Oohira laughs, “You’re probably the best of all of us Wakatoshi! I think you’ll be made our ace in no time!”

“Thank you. I’m sure we will all end up on the court together at some point.”

“I’m not confident,” Semi’s voice surprises Ushijima, he hadn’t realised that Tendou and Semi had stopped their bickering, “Next year there will be new first years too and one of them will be chosen over us. I like that Coach Washijou gives everyone a chance to play.”

“Yeah! I was lucky really. Wakatoshi really deserves his spot though.”

Tendou’s words make him swallow and before Ushijima can argue with it, their food arrives and Tendou is already eating. The tightness that Ushijima had felt before comes back, but this time it feels different, almost suffocating; it doesn’t feel right that Tendou calls his place lucky because he’d been working hard and Ushijima thinks it’s as well deserved as his own. Semi and Tendou end up bickering again when Tendou steals a fry off Semi’s plate. Ushijima is sure that the feeling in his chest just increased tenfold.

The food is nice, but Ushijima has mostly been picking at the food on his plate, and they all walk back to the dorm together. Tendou is a little ahead, still joking around with Semi. Oohira puts a hand on Ushijima’s shoulder and smiles at him, “You two are close.”

“We’ve known each other since the beginning of junior high.”

“That must be nice, Satori seems like a lovely person.”

“He is. I’m glad the team like him.” Ushijima didn’t want to mention how hard things were for Tendou in junior high, it wasn’t his place to say anything to anyone. He wasn’t even sure that Tendou’s mother was aware of what had been going on. So he stays quiet and Oohira doesn’t ask any questions about it; the conversation switches to volleyball, Ushijima is grateful for the change in topic.

On the way back to the dorms, they pass a small ice-cream shop and they stop to pick some up, Ushijima doesn’t get any, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to stomach it anyway. The walk back feels too long and Ushijima is ready to pull Tendou away from Semi, and something inside his brain knows that it’s a bad idea, that Tendou is only making friends. Maybe it’s that it’s always just been the two of them, it always felt like them against the world, and Ushijima was happy that Tendou was making friends. He was happy that they would be on the same team together -- that they would play in matches together.

They reached the dorms and began splitting off. Ushijima headed inside, and up to his room, it felt strange to be walking in alone, since Tendou had pulled Semi aside and waved Ushijima off. He dropped onto his bed and rested his arms over his face. Ushijima wondered if it would be a good idea to ask someone about this new feeling clawing at his chest, he knew he could call his mother for her help too. It was strange to him because Tendou’s happiness always made him happy too, but seeing him so close to Semi felt unsettling somehow.

The door opened and Ushijima sat up, letting his arms fall back to his side, “Is everything alright?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah! I was just talking with Eita about an anime we both like,” The white-lie rolled off Tendou’s tongue before he could stop it. He knew that Semi’s advice was right, he couldn’t keep pretending that he felt nothing towards Ushijima, not when his heart went into overdrive whenever they were alone; it was the only downside to them sharing a dorm-room, Tendou loved the time he spent with Ushijima. They’d been together a lot too, during junior high. Ushijima was always his only friend, and now having someone to confide in was nice, because he could get a real grasp on his feelings, “Are you looking forward to Friday?”

It would be their first practice, Ushijima remembered the schedule well enough, “Of course. Are you?”

“Yeah. I’m not entirely sure I’ll get to play though.”

“I think you will. Coach Washijou really liked you and he wants to see more, he can’t do that if you aren’t on the court.”

Tendou chuckled, “I can always trust you Wakatoshi! You’re right. We should get some rest now.” Ushijima nodded and they got changed for the night and quickly got comfortable under the covers, “Thanks ‘Toshi.”

Ushijima hummed softly, he wasn’t entirely sure why Tendou was thanking him, but he appreciated the gesture, and in the dark of the room, a blush dusted over his cheeks. The nickname was something new and he liked it, it was nice to hear. The silence of the room is calming and Ushijima finds it easy to doze off. Tendou’s watching him, or what little he can see in the darkness, just a silhouette.

He thinks that Ushijima has been a little stiff since dinner with the other first years, but he can’t place anything that might have made him uncomfortable. Ushijima had said he was happy using given names, and Tendou had felt a little jealous even though it was his idea because he’d always been the one to call Ushijima by his given name. Now the whole team would be doing it and it suddenly felt a little less special. Tendou doesn’t stop thinking about it even as he’s climbing into bed and he remembers his conversation with Semi, _”Just persevere, Ushijima will notice that you like him. Or you could make it easier and tell him.”_ Tendou had shot down that idea since he didn’t want to make things awkward and it was still pretty new to him, he was still figuring himself out.

It had first happened after their first meeting with the volleyball team, Tendou couldn’t take his eyes off Ushijima throughout practice, he couldn’t stop thinking about how beautiful he was. Then when Ushijima had read Shonen Jump with him, even if he’d been more interested in the ads, Tendou had always felt like his discussions about manga and anime were one-sided, but he knew Ushijima wouldn’t agree to something so easily if he disliked it. He wouldn’t be shy about stating the fact either. On the walk back to the dorms, Tendou spoke with Semi more about how confused he was with his feelings, how his heart seemed to have flown into his throat when Ushijima had squeezed his hand after the team had been put together for the upcoming year.

Tendou had always put his feelings down to friendship, but now that he was making friends with the team and a close bond with his fellow first years, the feeling felt different. It was warm and comforting, Ushijima had always provided that for him. Tendou yawns, rolling over and dozing off, Ushijima at the forefront of his mind.

* * *

Friday comes quickly, the week has been a rush of lessons, studying and volleyball practice in most of the evenings. Tendou is still trying to figure out how to tell Ushijima how he feels, but it isn’t coming easily and if they talk about anything regarding the matter, Ushijima is as blunt as always. He considers it for a moment when Tendou had first broached the subject with a shy, _”How would you react if someone said that they liked you? Or confessed?”_

It’s ironic how Ushijima had easily said that he would politely turn any confession down because it seems that news of his abilities on the volleyball court spread quickly around the school and by their third practice as a team, girls began to gather in the bleachers. Tendou had watched one approach Ushijima with a small box of chocolates and a bright red blush across her face. He did turn her down, but she didn’t look as hurt as what Tendou expected.

Today is their first practice against another school, the same gathering of girls have already filled the bleachers, along with some other students. Tendou’s sure he recognises some of them from his classes, he’s also certain a few are older, they’ve never been before and they look doubtful. Tendou’s nervous, he still isn’t certain he’ll get to play, but he’s running through his stretches and warm-ups anyway, Semi at his side, “Why don’t you give him chocolate?”

“Shut up,” Tendou hisses back, looking around in case someone might have over-heard, “He doesn’t like chocolate.”

“You should buy milk pudding then. That’s a nice gesture.”

Tendou whips his head back to Semi and frowns, “Stop it. I’m not going to put my friendship at risk with him.”

“How long have you two been friends?” Semi pulls a little too hard and Tendou groans, “Sorry.” It’s a soft mutter as he lets Tendou’s arm fall from his grip.

“We met in our first year of junior high,” Tendou folds his legs and sighs, leaning back to rest on his arms, “He hasn’t changed much.”

“Tell me more.”

“No.”

Saitou is shouting them over and they both hop up, quickly gathering with the rest of the ream; Semi nudges Tendou a little closer to Ushijima and smiles devilishly. Tendou glares in return. Washijou starts talking and they’re forced to pay attention. Semi knows he won’t play, he isn’t on the rotation, he’s just there as a substitute - a backup if something goes wrong, and he doubts it will. The talk is relatively quick and then they’re lining up, the captain picks tails for the coin toss and it will be their side starting. So, with a bow from both teams, the starting six take their positions. Tendou watches, a little envious.

The first set goes smoothly, and as expected, Ushijima scores the most points. Tendou is subbed in half-way through the second set; the other team have upped the pressure and they’re trailing by four points. It’s Ushijima’s serve and he pulls back two points, the third one finally goes up, they manage to keep it on their side of the net and it goes up for a spike. Tendou moves quickly for the block, matched with one of the second years; Tendou sees the glint in the spiker’s eyes like he’s confident. He hits it perfectly, but Tendou is quick to shift and it gives them another point, drawing the gap to one.

Ushijima serves again, this time the rally is longer and the other side take the point when the ball is just out. Tendou stays on the court for the rest of the match, shutting down most of the spikes, closing the gap, so they're both even; Tendou keeps up his blocks and pushes their lead to two points ahead.

They eventually take the second set and Tendou runs to Ushijima’s side, “We did it!”

The celebrations aren’t extravagant since it’s only a practice match, but Ushijima feels pride swell and he smiles at Tendou, “You were great.” They’re quickly lining up and saying thank you, the other team look even more determined than they had been at the beginning. Ushijima knows how that feels, he’d practised against Tendou enough when they were younger and he isn’t sure he will ever be able to beat his block.

Saitou gathers them for a short chat after the match and then they’re free to go and change, Tendou can’t stop beaming, Semi nudges him and smiles, “Nice blocking.”

“Thanks,” Tendou’s reply is a little meek, somehow it feels nicer coming from one of the players and not just the coach or Ushijima, “I refuse to change my style.”

“It works, that’s going to be a life-saver for us. You’ll get first rotation soon enough. Coach Washijou is really impressed with you.”

“Ah! Semisemi, you’ll make me blush,” Tendou nudges Semi back and they start a little scuffle until Oohira places himself in between them, “We should get changed.” Semi snorts and they split up to go to their lockers, leaving Oohira shaking his head. Ushijima had half-watched the exchange, almost gritting his teeth at seeing the two so close; Tendou’s locker is near his and he turns away when Tendou pulls off his shirt. Ushijima had seen him changing before, it wasn’t anything new and he wasn’t embarrassed easily; Tendou had changed since junior high, he was getting taller and, while he wasn’t one for much exercise, his body had still changed. Ushijima couldn’t let himself get caught staring, he always got lost in Tendou’s freckles, like an astronomer watching the stars.

Thankfully, they changed quickly and all headed out together, they stopped for ice-cream as a little celebration. They don’t stop in and continue the walk back to the dorm. Tendou is at Ushijima’s side, talking about how exciting the match was, “Eita is right, you’ll make first rotation soon.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Tendou grins and gently nudges Ushijima, who isn’t expecting the contact and stumbles a little. Tendou laughs when some ice-cream lands on Ushijima’s cheek, “Sorry!” Before he can think about it, his reaching up and wiping away the ice-cream with his thumb, Ushijima can feel a blush rising to his cheeks with Tendou licks his thumb clean, “So simple, Wakatoshi.”

Ushijima hums, focusing on eating his ice-cream and avoiding Tendou’s gaze, he doesn’t want his blush to be noticed, and it seems it hasn’t when Tendou goes back to talking about volleyball. The rest are trailing behind them and all share a knowing look between each other. It isn’t long until they’re all saying goodnight and splitting up to go to their rooms, Ushijima is quick to get changed and under the covers. He still feels the warmness of his cheeks, and it’s easier to pretend he’s tired than to let Tendou see him like this, “Goodnight Satori, we can study tomorrow.”

Tendou is a little surprised, Ushijima is never one to skip studying, he figures he must be tired and automatically nods before remembering that Ushijima can’t see him from his bed, “Oh, yeah, sure. Goodnight Wakatoshi.” He gets changed too and crawls into bed, the room feels far too quiet like this and Tendou isn’t sleepy. He flicks his bedside lamp on, Ushijima doesn’t say anything and he’s unmoving from his position, so Tendou picks up his Shonen Jump and flicks through it; it’s hard to focus and he drops it with a soft sigh. Instead, Tendou rolls onto his side and eyes Ushijima, his back is facing Tendou.

Tendou reaches out into the space between them and fans his fingers, sighing softly before flicking off his lamp and rolling back over. Ushijima’s usually always on his mind, but tonight it feels different, Tendou can’t stop thinking about the smile that Ushijima had made when they won their practice match. It had looked different from the usual smiles that Ushijima gives, they’re always rare too, and while Tendou had seen him celebrate in the past, it wasn’t like this; he’d looked genuinely content, the only difference today was Tendou’s presence on the court. And he thinks, maybe he’s imagining things, but his heart won’t stop pounding and he’s thinking of any other reason why Ushijima would look so happy. Tendou can’t and he eventually dozes off, Ushijima’s smiling face still at the forefront of his mind.

* * *

The first month goes by quickly, classes are more enjoyable for Tendou, some of the first years from the volleyball club are in them and a few are with Ushijima, he feels less excluded. The team has had a few more practice matches and one official match, they won all of them, and Washijou had complimented the way Tendou plays. He’d been in every practice match so far, and like Ushijima, he was quick to score points, Tendou was sure he must be close to what Ushijima would usually score. He can’t wait to play in official matches with Ushijima, and the rest of the team, he can imagine that the celebrations will be bigger.

Tendou feels a little bad that their routine has shifted a little, he’s been studying with Semi -- mostly letting out his frustrations about not finding the right words to use so he could confess to Ushijima. Tendou just hopes that Ushijima is fine with the change. He hadn’t intended on it happening, but Semi was easy to talk to about Ushijima, and he couldn’t talk about that around Ushijima.

They still meet up for lunch, but that’s become a collection of all the first years from the volleyball club. Tendou makes sure to sit near Ushijima and their shoulders brush together, Ushijima can feel his skin warming to the touch, then Tendou shifts and it settles as a buzz on his skin. Tendou distracts himself with his bento box, it was only a small touch, but his heart is racing. He’s grateful when Yamagata starts asking how classes are going.

Tendou wishes lunch lasts longer, but it goes by too quickly and they’re already heading back to class, he reaches out and gently pulls Ushijima to his side, “Wakatoshi, would you like to do something tonight?”

“Did you need help with some homework? I thought you were studying with Semi.”

It’s Ushijima’s usual tone, but to Tendou, it feels harsh and he automatically winces, Ushijima looks apologetic and Tendou gently squeezes his wrist, “Not studying. Let's go for ramen.”

“Okay. I will meet you after classes have finished.”

“Thanks!” Tendou grins, he pulls his hand back and he feels lost for a moment, the warning bell rings and Tendou snaps back, “See you later.” He quickly waves and heads off to his classroom, Ushijima watches him go before rushing off to his class.

* * *

They meet up in the courtyard after class, Tendou is bouncing around, talking about how nice things have been, Ushijima is walking beside him, smiling and nodding. When Tendou finishes, he looks up at Ushijima with a grin, “How about you?”

“It’s fine, I like it. The lessons are interesting. I’m enjoying volleyball a lot.”

“I’ve noticed! You really shine on that court.”

“You’ve been playing well too, you earned your spot. You’ve worked hard Satori.”

“I’m really glad you’re saying that. I didn’t want to celebrate too much, all the first years are good and I know they play sometimes in practice matches, but I’m put in a lot more, I don’t want to be taking a spot away from them.”

Ushijima shakes his head and gently pats Tendou’s shoulder, “The team love you, I’m sure that none of them feels like you’re taking their spot. I was worried about the older students, I think I’ve been playing well, but I wanted to impress them and the coaches, I want them to know that my spot is being well-used, that I’m not bringing them down.”

“You could never do that ‘Toshi,” Ushijima’s grateful that they reach the ramen shop, the heat rushes over him and he hopes it hides his blush; he liked when Tendou used that nickname, it made his stomach feel funny and his heart raced a touch faster. They ordered and took a seat at the bar, “I miss spending time with you. I’m sorry.”

Ushijima blinks and turns to Tendou, a little surprised, his brows furrows, “You don’t need to apologise, I understand that you’re busy. We all are.”

“I know. I’ll just have to squeeze some time in between everything!”

“Just make sure you’re keeping up with your studies.” Tendou nods, smiling softly. Ushijima manages to smile back. His throat feels constricted like Tendou’s smile had come to life and was holding him tight in its grip. He’s soon distracted by the arrival of their ramen, they both say thanks and dig into the food. Ushijima can still feel his heart pounding, it’s echoing in his ears, even as Tendou loudly slurps his ramen.

They enjoy each others company, with the soft clatter of the kitchen and the chatter of the other customers creates a nice atmosphere around them, it’s comforting. Ushijima likes this, he glances at Tendou throughout the meal and his heart jumps at seeing him looking so peaceful, ramen hanging from his lips. Ushijima snorts and Tendou’s head turns, he slurps the rest and grins, “Sorry, I’m a messy eater.”

“I’ve never noticed it before. Eating doesn’t need to be perfect.” Ushijima slurps some noodles and Tendou chuckles.

They finish eating fairly quickly and spend a moment enjoying a cup of green tea, it’s like they’re trying to capture this moment drag it out for a few minutes longer. The sky outside is growing dark, and they finally bid goodnight to the owners and head out into the cool air. Tendou is almost pressed to Ushijima’s side, “Wakatoshi, you’re so warm!”

Ushijima hums. He’s used to Tendou’s clinginess, so it doesn’t surprise him when Tendou’s arms wrap around his right arm and he shuffles a little closer. The walk back is quiet, the sky above them painted in red and orange as the sun sets, sinking slowly behind the buildings. They reach the dorm quickly, despite how Tendou had been trying to keep the pace slow, he exhales when they enter the building and pulls away from Ushijima, “Better?”

“Much!” Tendou smiles, they head to their room and, after the long day, both fall asleep fairly quickly.

* * *

The year goes by quickly, Ushijima helps to propel the team to nationals but they lose in the second round and when they return, Washijou runs them through some tough drills, intent on making them better for their second year. At the end of the day, Tendou slumps into Ushijima’s side with a loud sigh, “I’m tired.”

“We should return quickly and rest,” Tendou nods, but he’s unmoving and Ushijima helps by pushing him up to his feet. They walk back, with Tendou half-hanging off Ushijima, the rest of the team are just as exhausting and it takes longer to get back to the dorms. They split off, muttering a sleepy goodnight to one another; Ushijima drags Tendou to his bed, “Get some sleep.” Tendou nods, rolling over. Ushijima locks their door and changes into a pair of sweatpants; he doesn’t have the heart to get Tendou to change, he rarely sees Tendou this exhausted and decides it’s better to leave him be. They can always clean-up in the morning. Ushijima drops to his mattress, he isn’t as tired, the drills had every nerve pulsing, and it doesn’t help that his mind won’t calm down either. Tendou had been so close to him, his scent floating into Ushijima’s nostrils. He was sweaty, but it was still nice, Tendou’s normal smell seemed to break-through and Ushijima basked in it.

Ushijima lays down and watches Tendou sleeping, soft snores filling their room. With a smile, Ushijima closes his eyes, his senses running over every part of Tendou that filled his mind. Every soft touch that they’d shared, each look that seemed to last a lifetime, the smell of coconut...Tendou’s loud voice cheering for Ushijima to push himself, to go that extra mile and watch Tendou celebrate. Ushijima wants to capture it all, to taste the joy and excitement. It lulls him to sleep, his mind focused on the upcoming week, ready to push for Tendou. To play on the same team, experience nationals fighting together. Ushijima wants nothing more, in his minds-eye, he can touch every moment yet to come.

* * *

Their hype from nationals dies down after the week passes, the beginning of second-year meaning that they have to push for it again, they have to aim higher. Second-year already feels like it will be different, and with the arrival of new students, the dorms are reassigned. Ushijima is with Oohira this time and Tendou is with Semi, who he’s quick to start teasing. The new year also brings new students to the volleyball club; one of the first years, Shirabu, is impressive and Washijou is quick to put him on the starting rotation. Semi looks annoyed by it and Tendou tries to offer a supportive pat to his shoulder, it does nothing and Semi almost snaps at him when Washijou announces that Tendou will be moving to their starting rotation.

After the meeting, they head out for food (it’s become routine now), some of the first years tag along, it makes their usual cramped situation even worse and Ushijima wonders if they should start picking somewhere else to eat. But Tendou is pressed against his shoulder and he can’t find the energy to suggest somewhere different. Tendou is warm, it seeps into his skin.

“I don’t like him,” Semi’s whispering to Tendou, Ushijima is too close and he can hear every word, “He’s too perfect, he has to be hiding something.”

“Perfect?” Semi’s head snaps to Tendou and he gapes, mouth opening and closing like a fish, “Are you sure you’re not just admiring him? I know how that feels.”

It’s the first Ushijima has heard about Tendou admiring someone and he wonders who it can be, oblivious to how Semi is now kicking Tendou under the table, “It’s not like that, stop making that face!” Tendou’s grin only grows and Semi almost flings himself across the table to strangle Tendou. He’s pressed down into his seat by Oohira who looks less than impressed by their bickering, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry,” Tendou mutters, ducking his head down from Oohira’s gaze. Ushijima gently touches Tendou’s wrist, getting his attention, Tendou smiles up at Ushijima and rests his head against his arm. They’re sat that way until everyone is finished with their food. After eating, Tendou is first to his feet and Ushijima misses the pressure against his shoulder, “Eita, let’s go.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Semi pulls himself up and the two of them head off together. Ushijima watches them go, his hands balling into fists; he takes a breath, hoping it goes unnoticed and pushes himself away from the table. He quickly heads outside to get some fresh air and stays resting against the school building until the warning bell rings.

* * *

Throughout the next few days, Ushijima keeps seeing Semi and Tendou whispering to each other and he wishes he was in the loop. His chest feels like it’s tightening and he can’t seem to stop gritting his teeth together, “I didn’t think you would be a jealous type,” Soekawa’s voice surprises Ushijima, he quickly turns away from Semi and Tendou, “I suppose it’s bound to happen. They’re spending a lot of time together.”

“They’re friends,” Ushijima’s response is solid, but he’s not sure who he’s trying to convince by saying that out loud, “I don’t mind it.”

Soekawa smiles softly at Ushijima, “Satori always thinks about you first.” Ushijima felt a little confused by those words, he rarely knew what to expect from Soekawa, and he couldn’t quite tell if there was supposed to be another meaning behind what he’d said. Ushijima doesn’t know how to reply and glances over his shoulder again at Semi and Tendou. Shirabu has joined their table and Semi looks like he might be blushing.

Tendou looks over and Ushijima feels a little nervous about being caught staring. Tendou smiles, looking unfazed and he waves Ushijima over. It takes a moment of Ushijima internally debating it, but he does get up and joins their table. Tendou presses his head to Ushijima’s arm the moment he sits down, “These two are hopeless.”

“Satori!” Semi’s voice is loud and the two are quickly bickering, Ushijima shares a confused look with Shirabu. Oohira appears at the table and the two calm down, Semi turns his attention to Ushijima, “Wakatoshi, are you looking forward to this year?”

Ushijima nods, he’s sure that they’ll make the former third-years proud, “I think we can make it to nationals again.”

“We have our very own miracle-boy!” Tendou grins, patting Ushijima’s shoulder, “The other teams won’t know what hit them.” Ushijima smiles and nods. He’s mostly looking forward to playing along-side Tendou and watching him prove what he’s capable of.

Lunch, for once, feels like it lasts forever. Ushijima and Tendou have their next lesson together and head off together after saying goodbye to the rest of the group. Once they’re out of sight, Semi looks between everyone with a knowing smile, “How long do you think it will take them to admit they like each other?”

“Wait. I thought they were already together and just keeping it quiet,” Yamagata furrows his brows, he’d been sure that they were together. Semi shakes his head in response, Soekawa shrugs and Oohira chuckles. The first-years look clueless and Yamagata can sympathise with them, “I wish them well.” They filter out and head off towards their class. Oohira is still chuckling and gently patting Yamagata’s shoulder.

* * *

Their practice matches still feel the same. Tendou cheers when Semi gets subbed in and Ushijima finds more power going into every spike he hits; during one of the games, he unintentionally injures one of the players and the practice is cut short, with Ushijima apologising profusely.

Their first match is a few days later and it feels different. Tendou’s body is pulsing, it’s a mixture of nerves and excitement, he’s going to show everyone that his blocks work. His fingers struggle with the tape and a large pair of hands cover his own, “Let me,” Tendou blinks up at Ushijima, his hands calm under the touch and he relaxes back. Ushijima’s touch is soft, his fingers nimble as they tighten the tape around Tendou’s index and middle fingers, “You’ll be great out there.”

“Thank you.” Ushijima is finished quickly and Tendou lets his hands fall into his lap. He keeps his head down, knowing that he can’t face Ushijima while he’s blushing. Someone shouts Ushijima over and Tendou looks up from his hands, they feel like they’re buzzing, his nerves have slipped away now. His mind is too focused on how soft Ushijima’s touch was, for someone who could spike a ball the way he did, he was gentle and Tendou felt like his heart was stuck in his throat.

Saitou is soon ushering them out. They meet up first, the captain talked through their planned rotation again, Ushijima will be serving first. Tendou can feel his body buzzing again, anticipation rushing through his veins, he grasps Ushijima’s wrist. Ushijima gently touches his fingers and they share a smile, Tendou is certain that Ushijima must be looking forward to this match. The game is quickly under-way. Shiratorizawa take an early lead and Ushijima can feel every point racing through his body, his hand is still feeling the after-affect of his serve.

They hold steadfast and take the first set at twenty-five to twenty-one. The other team leads the second set, three points ahead but with the help of Ushijima’s spikes and Tendou’s blocks, they close the gap and end up leading. The rest of the set goes smoothly and they win with a clear margin of five points. The other team look distraught, but they hold their heads high and shake hands, once the thank you’s are over, Tendou bounces around Ushijima, “Did ya’ see Wakatoshi? I did great!”

“Yes, I was watching.”

“Wakatoshi, you’re the best ace.” Yunohama’s compliment takes Ushijima off guard and he has to force his eyes away from Tendou’s beaming face. If aliens existed, Ushijima could imagine that it would feel like this to be abducted by them.

“Thank you.” They’re ushered into the changing room by the captain, who tells them they can celebrate _after_ they get changed.

It’s a rush and they’re all quickly heading back out, Washijou reminds them about their next practice on the way out and they bid him goodnight in return. They head to the usual ice-cream shop, the weather is nice enough that they’re spread out between tables inside and out. Tendou spends half the time chattering about the match and how good it felt to stop the spikes from the other team, he’s the last one to finish eating and the group laugh at him. Ushijima smiles softly, it makes him even prouder to say that Tendou is his friend, that they’re on the same team together.

The walk back is just as loud, with Tendou now complimenting Ushijima and Shirabu’s teamwork. Most of the team look tired now, but Tendou is a ball of energy and even when they reach the dorms and split off for their rooms, Tendou is still talking. Ushijima has to let them into their room, he’s still smiling and it feels like Tendou’s energy is rubbing off on him a little, he didn’t feel as tired as some of the other players looked, but now it feels like he’s wide-awake, like his mind won’t shut off while Tendou is talking. He wants to drink in every single word.

“Ah! I’m sorry Wakatoshi, you must be tired and I’m still talking.”

Ushijima shakes his head, he knows they have an early class tomorrow, but he could stay awake the whole night listening to Tendou, “I’m fine. I’m glad that you had fun.”

“I did! It felt so good to be out there. The gym feels even bigger too, you’ll be used to that.”

“Today felt different, you always seem to take up the whole court.”

“Aw, ‘Toshi, I’ll blush!” Tendou ducks his head down and he rubs the back of his neck, “But you were amazing too! Your serve surprised them.”

“So did your blocks,” Tendou hums, he looks calmer now and Ushijima can tell that the excitement of the day has caught up to him, “We have an early morning. Let’s get some sleep.”

Tendou nods, lazily getting changed before flopping down onto the bed. Ushijima uses the moment to watch him, “Night.”

“Goodnight. Sleep well.” Ushijima quickly gets changed and settles underneath the covers. In the darkness, he takes one last glance over at Tendou and allows sleep to consume him.

* * *

Every match feels better than their first and they make it to nationals again. Tendou remembers their match against Aobajosai more than the others because the ace had felt similar to Ushijima and Tendou revelled in blocking every spike he could. It wasn’t quite the same, but it had felt almost as good. This year, they make it to the quarter-finals, it’s a hard match, the full five-sets and they drop the last one thirty-two to thirty.

Tendou’s body is aching and the entire team looks exhausted, Washijou only gives them a pointed look. Everyone is silent on the ride back to Shiratorizawa. Tendou’s head is pressed firmly against Ushijima’s shoulder and Ushijima is watching him while he sleeps. It’s rare to see Tendou looking so tired, no-one is arguing about it, Shirabu is even asleep against Semi’s shoulder. They all know that Washijou will run them through some tough training once they’re back.

* * *

After their punishment, the next few days are filled with exams and they become third-years. The captain passes his title down to Ushijima, who is intent on doing it proudly. He wants to make their team one to be reckoned with. The first-year who is put onto their rotation is Goshiki and he’s strong-willed, convincing with his words that he will be the next ace after Ushijima, who wishes him well. Kawanishi had to pull a dazed Goshiki away and Tendou chuckled, leaving Ushijima confused, “Did I say something wrong?”

“No, you were the same as always Wakatoshi.” Ushijima nods, the meeting wraps up quickly and the new schedule is hung on the wall. They head to the usual haunt, and Ushijima can’t stop watching Tendou talking with Semi, who is sat a little closer to Shirabu than usual. The two have made up whatever differences had them bickering, and while they still do, it’s less frequent. Ushijima is glad to see that they’ve become friends.

The dorms have stayed the same this year and Ushijima felt a little disappointed when Tendou had told him he was staying with Semi again. He’s barely eating his ice-cream, and Yamagata gently touches his shoulder, “Are you feeling okay?”

“I’m not that hungry and I’ve been trying to watch my calories.” Ushijima doesn’t like lying, but Yamagata gives him a sympathetic smile and leaves it at that. When they head back, it’s still strange for Ushijima to split off from Tendou, who’s room is on the floor above. He studies with Oohira for an hour before turning in for the night; it feels like something is scratching at his throat and it takes longer than normal for Ushijima to doze off.

* * *

The next morning he skips his usual run and heads to the library instead. The quietness of it soothes Ushijima and he reads over a book on volleyball. He’s read it a thousand times and the words don’t register in his brain, he’s still thinking about Tendou. It’s going to be their last year together, Ushijima had already had conversations with both Saitou and Washijou, he knows he’ll be heading to Tokyo, for a big university to play volleyball. Tendou hadn’t discussed his plans yet and it left Ushijima wondering what he wanted to do, which university he would be applying for if any. It stunned Ushijima a little, that he wasn’t aware of what was going on with Tendou, they’d always shared everything.

They still managed to make time for one another outside of volleyball practice, but Ushijima hadn’t heard anything about Tendou’s plan, even when he’d discussed his own (which was his attempt at getting Tendou to share), he didn’t want to be out of the loop. If Semi knew, then Ushijima wanted to know too and the only thing he could think might be holding Tendou back, was that he thought Ushijima might be disappointed with his decision.

When their first few practice matches came around, they left Ushijima wanting. Tendou would always pat his back and compliment him, which he seemed to do with most of the team anyway, he even shared a few hugs during their celebratory ice-creams, which had Ushijima clenching his hands into fists. He didn’t want to be left out, he’d never (to his knowledge) expressed a dislike for Tendou’s touchiness. Even the times when they’d sit together, Tendou would seem to put a gap between them, he stopped resting against Ushijima’s arm and Ushijima missed it. He didn’t want to leave for Tokyo if it would mean putting a bigger gap between them, especially not while he couldn’t figure out what caused this change, he wanted Tendou to talk to him more.

They would make time to study together, but it was never alone, Oohira would sometimes join them, or it was part of a group, with Semi and Shirabu there too. Ushijima ached to get Tendou alone again, to revisit the moments that they had shared as kids. It had him pushing his morning runs further, spending some extra time in the gym practising his serves, anything so his body would ache at the end of the day, a resting tingle rushing through his veins when he’d finally hit the mattress on a night-time, it would never feel the same as the lingering touch on his skin that Tendou always left. How it would heat up, then simmer down to a pleasant warmth and it clearly couldn’t be replaced by anything else. It left Ushijima feeling frustrated.

“Reon, do you think Satori is avoiding me?”

Oohira looked up from his book, a little surprised to hear Ushijima’s voice, he was always quiet when they studied, focused on his work, “What makes you say that?”

“We haven’t been alone since nationals ended.”

“Well, we’re third-years now, he’s probably just focusing on getting into college.”

“He hasn’t told me what he wants to do. Have we grown apart?” Ushijima looks disheartened, his body aches, but it’s different from the way he feels after a run or after practice, “Shiratorizawa was always my dream, I wanted to come here. Tendou followed me. What if it wasn’t what he wanted? I’ll be leaving for Tokyo after we graduate, if he doesn’t want to go, I understand that I wouldn't force him. I just wish he would talk to me about it.”

“Wakatoshi, I can’t tell you what Satori is thinking. You know how hard it is to read him, you’re better off asking him yourself.”

Ushijima nods, he knows that Oohira is right and maybe he’s been avoiding it because he’s scared of what he might hear, “You’re right,” Ushijima stands, abandoning his books, “It’s still early. I’ll be right back,” Oohira nods and watches him leave the room, he’s a little surprised that Ushijima would act this way, it much really be bothering him if he’s struggling to focus. Ushijima quickly takes the stairs up to the next floor, he walks slowly along the hall to Tendou and Semi’s room, pausing outside when he hears laughter on the other side of the door. He takes a breath and knocks. It only takes a moment for Tendou to answer and he looks a little surprised, Ushijima notices that Shirabu is in the room too, “Satori, can I speak with you.”

“Of course,” Tendou is still a little confused, but he can’t turn Ushijima down. He turns back to Shirabu and Semi with a smile, “Don't have too much fun without me!” They both turn a little red and Semi gets up to push Tendou out into the hall and shuts the door with a soft slam, “Let’s take a walk,” Ushijima nods and they head out into the cold air, Tendou shivers when it first hits him, and he regrets not grabbing a coat, “Was something wrong Wakatoshi? Aren’t you usually doing work right now?”

“Yes, Reon and I were talking about university and it got me thinking. I don’t know what you’re doing. Are you staying in Miyagi?”

Tendou glances up at the stars and smiles, “I’m not sure yet. I might look for a job. I haven’t seen anything that I’m completely interested in. You must think it’s funny. You have your whole life planned out, you’ll go to Tokyo and play volleyball, but I’m stuck.”

“Satori, I’m proud of what you’ve done. Everyone always looked down on you, you’ve proved all them wrong. You’re one of the biggest assets to our team. It isn’t bad to feel confused. University is the next step in our life and it’s a big decision. I’ve had it easy, that’s already been decided for me.”

“You could change your mind.”

Tendou was right of course, but Ushijima couldn’t imagine doing anything other than university, it was his biggest dream, to go on a play for their national team, “I love volleyball.”

“I know and you’re truly great at it, you’ll do amazing in Tokyo.”

“Somehow, I know it won’t feel the same. It will be the first time we’re apart.”

Tendou nods and he faces Ushijima, plucking up his courage to face him, “You don’t need me at your side.”

Ushijima wants to say that he does, that he always has, but his lips won’t move. His hands clench and unclench, he reaches out and gently touches Tendou’s shoulders, “I hope you can find your calling Satori, you deserve to be happy.”

Tendou throws himself into Ushijima, wrapping his arms tightly around his body. He squeezes his eyes shut and holds back the tears that he can feel coming. He needs Ushijima, he’s always been the reason why Tendou could face things with such a brave face, he gave him that confidence. Tendou isn’t sure he’ll know what to do with it all once Ushijima is gone. Ushijima returns the hug and Tendou sighs softly, “Thank you Wakatoshi, I appreciate it.”

“It’s the truth.” Tendou feels like he’s pulling away just as soon as the hug started, he smiles as best as he can and begins heading back to their dorm. Ushijima can feel all the words he’d left unsaid, he just couldn’t force them out of his mouth and the walk back is silent. They go their separate ways on the stairs, with one final pat to Tendou’s shoulder from Ushijima.

* * *

The rest of the year feels easy in comparison to that conversation, Ushijima can still feel the weight of it and he puts as much of it as possible into playing. They’re still beaten by Karasuno, no matter how hard he pushes, no matter what fight Shiratorizawa put up. He joins Tendou for post-session cool down and he listens as Tendou talks. He’s a little surprised to hear that he won’t continue with volleyball, but he isn’t disappointed and when they’re done, Ushijima gently touches his hand, “Whatever you decide, I support it.”

“Thanks,” Tendou resists the urge to hold Ushijima’s hand and instead hops up to his feet, “Come on, the coach probably has a punishment prepared.” He’s right of course, and when they return, Ushijima is glad that Tendou still partakes, despite his decision to quit. Ushijima passes his captaincy along to Shirabu and wishes the team well for the future.

Goshiki sheds a few more tears, but faces Ushijima head-on, “I promise to be the best ace that this team has seen!”

“Thank you, I’ll be watching.” Goshiki nods and the third-years leave the gym first.

Semi keeps glancing back and Oohira pulls him under his arm, “They’ll be fine without us, stop worrying.” They all head for ice-cream, even though they’re not celebrating, this is their goodbye to one another, to Shiratorizawa.

Tendou pulls Ushijima aside and smiles brightly despite the feeling of loss resting on all of them, “I found a university in Tokyo, I’m going to take x classes. It’s pretty close to your university.”

“I’m glad. I just want you to be happy.”

“I am. These last six years with you have been amazing and I don’t think anything will ever come close to how happy I am right now. I’ll stick close, but I won’t be hanging off your side, so you have to do well too, make it onto the national team.” Ushijima nods. It’s a relief to hear that he won’t have to commute between Tokyo and Miyagi, though he knows he’ll be visiting his mother during the holidays, he wouldn’t know how to fit in seeing Tendou around all the chaos. But now they would be going to the same city and he didn’t need to worry. He could still be close to Tendou, and maybe find the courage to tell him how he feels.


	3. (as steel)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Wakatoshi, you’re already famous! I knew you would be, you are Shiratorizawa’s miracle boy!”_
> 
> _Hearing that old nickname from Tendou makes Ushijima’s heart flutter and he smiles, “You were always popular too Satori.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I missed any errors in this, it's pretty late atm and I just ran it through a grammar check x_x

Living in a separate dorm is strange for Ushijima. He knows it’s barely ten minutes away from Tendou’s dorm, from his university, but they would always walk back together and now he wouldn’t have that. With help from his mother and a teary-goodbye from her, he began unpacking. Half-way through, the door opened and Ushijima turned his head to be met with a familiar face, he couldn’t put a name to him, but Ushijima was sure he’d seen him before, “Hey.”

“Hello. Do I know you?”

Ushijima received a smirk in return and the boy placed his boxes onto the other bed then turned to face Ushijima with an outstretched hand, “I’m Kuroo Tetsurou, from Nekoma High.”

“Oh,” It rushed back to Ushijima. Nekoma had beaten them at nationals before. It was a tough game and Nekoma had barely slipped past them, “I remember.” He shook Kuroo’s hand and got a smile in return.

“Good. It’s strange seeing you alone, normally that blocker is with you. Uh, your boyfriend?”

Ushijima blinked, twice, feeling a little confused by Kuroo’s words. It took a moment for them to sink in before Ushijima shook his head, “Satori and I are childhood friends.”

“Ah. You two seemed pretty close,” Kuroo tilted his head. He’d been certain that the two were together from the way he’d seen them. It wasn’t a long time, but they both seemed close and looked rather touchy, “I mean, _really close_, it looked like you were together,” Ushijima felt confused. He didn’t think that he ever made it obvious how he felt for Tendou, and there wasn’t any possibility of Tendou feeling the same, “Sorry, did I make you uncomfortable?”

“Uh, I’m just a little confused.”

Kuroo nodded, he gently patted Ushijima’s arm and gave him a supporting smile, “I started dating my childhood friend.”

“Congratulations,” Ushijima isn’t sure what else he can say. He doesn’t want to pry into any specifics, and he feels like he doesn’t know Kuroo well enough to even begin asking about it. It makes him curious though, and he wonders if it could ever work out like that for himself and Tendou. It’s only happened in Usijima’s dreams, he confesses and Tendou says he feels the same. Then he wakes up and reality sinks in, “I’ve thought about it--about telling him. It’s quite hard, a lot of people have told me that I don’t feel anything, or I don’t express emotions. I was always good friends with Kawanishi because of that too, he was the same as me.”

“I don’t think you’re emotionless. I watched your match against Karasuno,” Kuroo grins, “They beat us too, tough cookies. But it looked like it took a toll on you, even if you weren’t there sobbing your heart out.”

“Thank you Kuroo. It was hard, I was the captain, the star ace. I should have pushed harder, I should have been better, but they still beat us and for the third years, it was our last chance to get to nationals again, to be better.”

“Yeah, I understand that. But Karasuno has the shrimp and that setter, they won’t give up so easily.”

“That’s true.”

“About the middle blocker though, you never know until you try. He might say no, but he could also say yes and you might think that the risk isn’t worth it, but it really is. He won’t hate you for it, I’m sure of that if you look that close with each other that I assumed he was your boyfriend. I think it will be fine.”

“Thanks.” Ushijima wasn’t sure what else he could say, but Kuroo smiled and nodded, then turned to start unpacking. Ushijima turned back to his own, finishing up what he’d started. There was a framed picture of all the third years, which took pride-of-place on his desk and it made Ushijima smile; he had another picture, this time it was of the whole team, which he put on top of his dresser. It made the room feel just a little warmer, more welcoming and Ushijima knew he could always look at them when he needed cheering up.

Once Kuroo was finished, they took their leave and went to find the volleyball club together. In a way, Kuroo reminded Ushijima of Tendou, he was very talkative and didn’t seem to mind if Ushijima hummed in response instead of giving a full answer. It was nice and felt familiar, but it made Ushijima miss Tendou more than he already did.

They reached the volleyball club quickly and Kuroo opens the door with a flourish, almost strutting into the room and Ushijima has to stifle a laugh, “I’m here!”

The people in the club and chuckling caught Usijima’s ears, “Tetsu-chan!” Then familiar hair popped into view and he crossed his arms, “Ushiwaka-chan.”

“Oikawa.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot you two know each other. Ushijima’s my roommate.”

“Really? I might have to come and visit sometime! I bet Ushiwaka-chan is very neat.”

The two chuckled and went to sit together. Ushijima couldn't understand Oikawa and he wasn’t sure he ever would. He took a seat too and (what he assumed) the club leader spoke up, “Hello, welcome to the club. Please try to get along,” He bowed and smiled brightly at them, “If there are any later comers, make sure to welcome them warmly. My name is Kuwara Hayashi, I’m now in my third year and have been given the role as the club leader, I play as a middle blocker and a pinch server. Nice to meet you all.”

There was a muttered response of _hello_. Everyone started talking with each other and making introductions when Oikawa faced Ushijima again, he smirked and shook Ushijima’s hand, “I’m surprised that no-one else from Shiratorizawa is here since your team is so good.”

“But Iwaizumi isn’t here. I told you, you’re the best part of Seijoh.”

“If we didn’t have to work together, I’d kill you.”

“Tooru!” Kuroo stepped in, and he grinned at Ushijima, “We should be friends. Or try.”

“I don’t have a problem with that.”

Oikawa huffed but stopped scowling, “Fine. But I’m not going on group dates.”

“Ushijima is single.”

Oikawa baulked, he rose a brow and chuckled, “I thought you were with that crazy middle blocker.”

“No,” Ushijima chose to ignore the jibe about Tendou, he didn’t think that about him and it didn’t matter, “Why did both you and Kuroo think that?”

Oikawa shrugged, “I just thought it was obvious, to be honest.”

“I already said, you two looked close.”

“We’re best friends.”

“So? Iwa-chan and I are best friends too, and we’ve known each other since we were in diapers. Tetsu-chan has been friends with his boyfriend for a long time too.”

“Yeah, I said that. We never went to the same high school, but we were still talking a lot. A few people were a little surprised when we started dating, we had a bit of a love-hate relationship. But with you and Satori, it looks like love.”

Ushijima feels a little embarrassed by that, it made him wonder if Tendou had seen something too and just hadn’t spoken up. But Kuroo had said that it looked like the feeling was mutual, so Tendou couldn’t have noticed, or he would have talked to Ushijima, they could be together, “What should I do?”

“Don’t worry Ushiwaka-chan! You've got us, we can help you out.” Oikawa flung an arm over Ushijima’s shoulders, much to his confusion and Kuroo sniggered at his expression. Somehow, Ushijima felt like this would be a long day.

* * *

Tendou is mesmerised by his university, it’s big and full of students, he’s going to be taking art and he knows that these people will be creative too. He hopes he can fit in. A few people he’d passed had already given him strange looks and he’s nervous to be here without Ushijima, the one person he could always find safety in. He hopes he can find a new safety here.

He finds his orientation classroom quickly and heads turn when the door opens, “Ah, hello. Sorry about being late,” He bowed and found a seat at the back. The teacher introduced herself as Kobayashi Natsomi then went over what they would be studying for the year, the layout of the planned syllabus then left the students to get to know each other. Tendou felt awkward, he didn’t shift from his position and sat there watching everyone. Someone approaches his table and he instantly recognises the face, “You’re Iwaizumi, from Seijoh!”

“Yeah. Tendou, was it?” Tendou nods and Iwaizumi sits near him with a smile, “I’m going to assume that Ushijima got into that big-league university? Oikawa is there too.”

“He did.”

“You followed him to Tokyo, huh. Me too, Oikawa can be annoying, but I know him better than that. Our moms are close friends and we grew up together. He’s stubborn and hot-headed...But I love him. It’s the same for you, isn’t it? You love Ushijima.”

Tendou baulks, blinking rapidly and waving his hands, “We’re just friends, best friends! Wakatoshi doesn’t feel that way toward me, I’m sure of it.”

“I didn’t say that though.”

Tendou sighs, planting his face into his hands, he’s blushing, “He’s never noticed,” His response is muffled and Iwaizumi can’t help but gently pat Tendou’s shoulder, “Eita-kun always said it was obvious too. I was always too nervous to say anything, but I’d hoped he would have picked up on something.”

“I never realised Oikawa felt the same, not until I confessed, he always told me it was obvious. The whole team knew they were taking bets on who would confess first, and if it would happen before graduation. I knew we’d be going to different universities, so I gave him my button. His face was hilarious. As he always does, I got dragged to Tokyo with him.”

“Hey, Iwaizumi-san!”

Iwaizumi turns his head and smiles, “Yaku-kun, it’s nice to see you. Do you know Tendou?”

Yaku looks at Tendou, waving happily, “I recognise you. Hell, anyone who’s seen Shiratorizawa play would remember you, your blocks were unusual but very effective. Are you two trying out for the team?”

Iwaizumi is already nodding and Tendou’s hands grab at the fabric of his pants, “No, I quit. High school was always going to be where I bowed out, I don’t want to play anymore. It was always a hobby, something for fun and university is too serious for that.”

“I suppose that makes sense.”

Yaku can understand it too, he’s always been told he won’t make it professional, he isn’t tall enough, but he doesn’t have to be looking to get scouted to play. It’s ingrained in his veins, and he’s looking forward to being on the other side of the net to Kuroo, “It **would** be satisfying to beat them at least. You should just check out the club, you don’t have to sign up.”

“I don’t think there’d be any way to beat Oikawa _and_ Ushijima.”

“I’ve blocked Wakatoshi’s spikes before, plenty of times.”

“No way! Now you have to come!”

“I’m not sure.”

“Think of how surprised Ushijima would be to see you there on the court!” Yaku’s almost jumping on the spot, his hands are on Tendou’s shoulders now, pleading, “You might be our only hope.”

“This university might not be as strong as theirs, but there will be people who can beat them.” Tendou stands up and stretches out his limbs. Iwaizumi pats Yaku’s arm, they spend the rest of the time chit-chatting and making introductions to their other classmates. When the teacher finally bids them a good day, they all head out together. 

Tendou is grateful to have the company, Iwaizumi isn’t particularly talkative but he seems attentive whenever Tendou talks. It’s nice. They make their way around campus and to the cafeteria, Yaku bristles and frowns. Tendou looks to see what might have offended him when a boy walks over, smirking, “Hello Yaku-kun,” He eyes up Tendou and Iwaizumi, “Making friends?”

“More than what you can say.”

“That’s mean. Aren’t you supposed to be making a good impression? We’ll end up as teammates after all,” Yaku scoffs, “Hi there, I’m Daishou Suguru, it’s nice to meet you both.”

“Oh, I remember you, from Nohebi,” Iwaizumi’s words make the memory comes back to Tendou too and he nods, “Iwaizumi Hajime.”

“I’m Tendou Satori.”

Daishou’s brow raises and he nods, “Shiratorizawa, I thought I recognised you.”

“Ah, I feel famous now!” Tendou laughs, “I thought Wakatoshi would get all the attention, wait until I tell him this!”

“Shiratorizawa is a powerhouse, you’re bound to get noticed, even if Ushijima’s name is more well known.”

“Yep,” Tendou pops the ‘p’ and grins, “I guess that’s one benefit, the school has a well-known name and a former player who happens to be an amazing ace. Now, I’m hungry.” He joins the line for food and the other three share a knowing look, even as Yaku keeps his distance from Daishou.

* * *

Later, after exploring campus and getting to know the people he’ll spend the next three years with, Ushijima is tempted to call Tendou. He wants to know how things went and when he sees Kuroo happily talking away on his phone, it’s almost hard to stop himself from calling Tendou’s number. There’s a pause before Tendou finally answers, _”Hello Wakatoshi,”_ He sounds tired and Ushijima grips his phone, thinking a text might have been a better choice, _“How was your day?”_

Ushijima smiles, his worries slip away and he misses the smirk from Kuroo, who’s watching him from across the room, “It was good, the class is really interesting and the team seem nice. Kuroo is my roommate, from Nekoma.”

_“I ended up bumping into mine earlier without realising it! He’s Daishou Suguru from Nohebi. And my class is amazing! Iwaizumi is taking it too, and Yaku from Nekoma, you should ask Kuroo about him. He’s feisty, he doesn’t get along with Suguru, but they’re gonna be in the same team together. It’s a little funny, really,”_ There’s a pause and Ushijima almost opens his mouth to speak when Tendou speaks up again, _”It’s still a little strange though. I miss Shiratorizawa.”_

Ushijima had almost thought that Tendou was about to say he missed him, they were best friends and it wouldn’t have come as a surprise to hear it. He misses Tendou, he couldn’t say it though, it weighed heavy on his tongue, “Yes, this is a whole new experience. If we can during our first break, we should go and visit Miyagi.”

_”Ah! That’s a great idea. I need to make sure Eita-kun is doing okay.”_

“I'm sure he's fine, there's no reason to worry, we'd know if something was wrong.” Tendou’s laughter bubbles over the line and Ushijima’s heart jumps at the sound, warmth courses through his veins, pooling out from his chest. It’s pleasant and Ushijima wishes he could see Tendou’s face.

_”I’m glad you haven’t changed,”_ Tendou’s voice is suddenly calm and it makes the warmth ripple further through Ushijima, out to the tips of his fingers and down to his toes, _”Anyway, you probably need some rest! I’m exhausted, I imagine you must be too. I’ll be sure to phone tomorrow, goodnight ‘Toshi.”_

Ushijima is tempted to ask about setting up a video call, but the request dies on his lips when he hears Tendou yawn, “Yes. Goodnight Satori.” Tendou hums in response and then the line cuts off. Ushijima puts his phone onto his side-table and sighs.

“You could have said something.”

“I’d rather not,” Ushijima has already been on the verge of telling Tendou everything, of how his feelings blossomed back in junior high but he didn’t realise it until they were preparing to apply for Shiratorizawa together. From that moment, his feelings had felt more confusing, from how he wished to keep Tendou to himself, how he wanted to push aside Semi and hold Tendou close. That thought made him remember what Tendou had said during the call and he feels a little silly all of a sudden, “It’s something I need to do in person. Something I **need** to be able to say.”

“I can understand that. I chickened out and wrote a letter, I wish I had said it though, he said he doesn’t mind, but I don’t feel like it was as meaningful doing it like that.”

“I know Satori wouldn’t mind either, it’d be something he wouldn’t care about.”

Kuroo laughs and Ushijima raises a brow, he seems to calm down quickly and waves a hand, “Sorry, I’m not laughing at you. I just think it’s funny how we were in the same boat.”

“I guess. If you find it funny.”

“It’s just such a coincidence. Anyway, you two were talking for a while, any gossip?”

“Ah. Not really, we just talked about our day. He told me about his roommate and he also said that Yaku shares his class.”

“Oh yeah! He mentioned that he’d got accepted into an art class. Are you feeling jealous of his roommate?”

“I don’t think so,” Ushijima hadn’t thought about it too much, Tendou had shared with Semi back in Shiratorizawa, and now Ushijima felt a little silly for being jealous of their relationship, “His name is Daishou Suguru, I don’t know much about him.”

Kuroo laughs again and Ushijima’s brow furrowed, “Suguru is my boyfriend! You have to confess soon, that would be amazing.”

“I see. I’ll have to plan it out.”

Kuroo almost finds himself laughing, instead, he drops onto his bed with a huff, “You shouldn’t plan these things, they’re supposed to come naturally.”

“If I have an idea, then I’ll be ready.”

“You just tell him how you feel. That’s all I did and Suguru seemed surprised, he isn’t very well-liked.”

“Satori had mentioned that it seemed like Yaku didn’t get along with him.”

“Yeah. Our teams had quite a rivalry and Suguru is someone who will use words against an opponent too. It’s never bothered me because I know what he’s like when he isn’t involved with volleyball. He’s a worrier and he probably won’t admit it, but I know him too well.”

“He’s happy playing?”

Yeah,” Kuroo pauses, sitting back up to face Ushijima again, a soft smile breaking across his face, “I really love him.”

“It sounds like it. You didn’t say anything to Oikawa about the group date he mentioned.”

“He’s been trying to get me to agree to that for a while! I don’t think Suguru is quite that comfortable around other people though, he always says no,” Kuroo shrugs, he’s still smiling, “And, you might not think it, but I’ve known Oikawa for years. His family were visiting Tokyo, back when we were both in junior high, and it turned out that our moms knew each other fairly well, they hadn’t talked in a while. Oikawa and I ran around the park together. Volleyball became our common interest too.”

“I see. That must be nice. I’ve never had many friends,” Ushijims cracks a smile, even though some might feel pity towards him, he never hated being alone, “In junior high, it was always me and Tendou. I made more friends at Shiratorizawa, most of them are more like family now, we could always talk about volleyball.”

“It’s a great sport, I’m glad to see how often it brings people together.”

“Me too.” They spent about another hour chatting, mostly about the week to come and their first volleyball practises which would take place on Wednesday. Then they turned in for the night, knowing that tomorrow would bring their first day of lessons.

* * *

The week was certainly busy, with two volleyball practises (Wednesday and Friday), classes and studying, Ushijima was glad to wake up on a Saturday morning. He loved the classes and of course, volleyball. But he wanted to see Tendou. They’d planned to meet-up for lunch. So Ushijima went for a quick jog around the campus, then showered and had a hearty breakfast. Kuroo commented on his joyful state, but Ushijima didn’t want to admit that he’d spent a free lesson on Thursday preparing how he would confess to Tendou. And just in case he can’t find the words, or the plan doesn’t succeed, he has a back-up at the ready.

When he finally sets off. Ushijima is pleasantly surprised to see that Tendou is waiting patiently. He spots Ushijima quickly and starts bouncing on the spot, waving enthusiastically. Ushijima waves in return, he can feel his pace getting slightly quicker. Tendou looks gleeful and he grins when Ushijima stops in front of him, “Wakatoshi, it’s nice to see you!”

“You too,” They head into the small bistro and take a seat, where they order food. Ushijima can feel the words sitting on his tongue, but he can’t quite force them out, instead, he swallows them, “How was your week?”

“Oh you know~” Ushijima does know, Tendou had been texting him constantly throughout the week, especially before bed, but he still wants to hear it. So he knows that Tendou isn’t facing what he did in junior high, “It was great! I love the classes--Oh, let me show you!” Tendou pulls out his phone, spending a moment looking for something. Then he shows the device to Ushijima. There’s a photo of a sketchbook and Ushijima knows it must be Tendou’s, the page already looks a little worn. The drawing takes his breath away, it’s him. Tendou drew him and it’s wonderful, Ushijima thinks he could be looking into the front camera or a mirror. But the pencil strokes are noticeable and he leans forward a touch, trying to get a better look, “Do you want me to send it to you? I was going to but I thought it would be nicer in person, so I could see your reaction.”

“Yes. Satori, this is _wonderful_,” It’s not rare for Ushijima to be left breathless by Tendou. It’d happened multiple times before. When Tendou had first leaned against him, whenever Tendou reached out for a comforting hug or the way that Tendou sometimes whispered his name. Ushijima’s heart hammers in his chest, and the words he wanted to say bubble back up, ready to overflow, “Satori, I--”

“Club sandwich?” The voice of the waitress cuts Ushijima off and he almost deflates into his seat. Tendou is reaching out for the plate as she places it down. Ushijima takes his own and spends a moment staring at a piece of chicken.

“What was that ‘Toshi?”

He feels stupid. He hadn’t seen her approaching the table. The moment feels lost and he’d already lost the words, “I’d like a physical copy if that’s okay?”

“Of course! It was just practice, so I don’t need to hand it in. You can keep the original.”

“Thank you.”

Tendou’s head tilts, he feels like there’s something else there, but Ushijima is already digging into his plate and Tendou turns to his own. He’d been worried about showing the drawing to Ushijima, he hadn’t felt like he quite captured Ushijima’s handsomeness. He was glad that Ushijima still liked it. So much so that he wanted a copy. That alone made Tendou feel incredibly warm. He was already happy just from seeing Ushijima, but this feeling was indescribable, he wished that this day would last forever. Just to have more time with Ushijima.

After food, they took a short walk around the city, where Tendou spotted a manga shop and excitedly tugged on Ushijima’s sleeve, “Let’s take a look.” Tendou could have screamed with joy, he followed Ushijima inside and began looking around. Ushijima watched from a distance, enjoying how happy Tendou looked.

He’d be pretty clueless if he came alone, he wouldn’t have even noticed the store. It wasn’t for Ushijima, he’d prefer to stop at a sports store and that was still not a common occurrence. He usually got what he needed and returned. But being here with Tendou was relaxing, it felt like he could be stood looking at new trainers.

“Hello sir, are you looking for anything in particular?”

He turns his head to the store clerk and almost says no, he’s only waiting. But Tendou is across the store, and wouldn’t hear him, “What type of gift would be nice for my friend? I’m not really into anime or anything.”

“Ah, here,” He leads Ushijima to a small display, where there are figures stood, with very expensive price tags. Ushijima knows he’d have to save for a while to afford this, “If you find out what they like, this could be good.”

“Great, thank you.” The store clerks nods and heads off to see if there’s anyone he can help. Ushijima studies each figure in the case, wondering which one would be better suited for Tendou. He could save up and buy it as a Christmas gift or for his next birthday. Or for the day he confesses, so Tendou will be doubly surprised. It’s always a good back-up.

“Wakatoshi, I’m ready to leave!” Tendou’s voice makes Ushijima turn his head. He lights up at seeing what Ushijima is studying and he steps to the side so Tendou can take a closer look, “Wow! These are amazing!” His expression shifts and Ushijima can only guess that Tendou noticed the price tag for them, “That’d be a years allowance...Come on,” Tendou straightens up and gently pushes Ushijima toward the door, “We should get home.”

“Didn’t you buy anything?”

“Nah, they didn’t have the copy I was looking for. I asked and they said after Monday. I might pop by after my classes are finished.”

“If you need company, let me know.”

“Sure! Thanks.” Tendou’s smile warms Ushijima again and he smiles in return. They separate for their dorms and wave goodbye. Both already wishing the day had been longer.

* * *

Ushijima never finds the time to tell Tendou how he feels. He’s taken up a part-time job now, so he can buy one of the figurines he’d seen. So whenever he’s not at volleyball practice, he’s working and it means he isn’t seeing Tendou as often and he still doesn’t want to say anything over text.

So when winter break finally arrives and they head back to Sendai together, Ushijima is determined to confess before they return to Tokyo. There’s going to be the usual winter market open and Ushijima knows he could invite Tendou along, it was a perfect moment for them both to buy gifts for their mothers.

The first day back if mostly filled with spending time at home and they only meet up for a short while to head for dinner together, but it’s a family meal and their mothers are still asking about the university. Ushijima was a little worried at first that his mother might say something when Tendou’s mother asked about any girls in their life. Tendou had said he was busy with classes and Ushijima’s mother was the one to talk about how Ushijima was busy with classes, work and volleyball.

Tendou looked a little downcast at that when his mother gave him a harsh look and Ushijima has to stop himself from reaching out to grasp Tendou’s hand. Instead, he clears his throat and smiles, “Tendou was looking for a job. I went with him to a few different stores. It’s not easy to get a job in Tokyo.”

“Hm, I suppose he’s making some effort.” Ushijima doesn’t like her tone, she doesn’t notice Tendou shaking his head, but Ushijima does and he clenches a fist under the table.

The evening is long and Ushijima is glad to be back at home. His mother must have noticed that he was a little stressed, she brought him his favourite snack, her homemade oat-cookies. She gently pats his back and bids him goodnight. He spends a moment before bed, forming a message to Tendou, _’I hope the night was okay.’_

_’Yeah! Thanks for the quick save ( ﾉ^ω^)ﾉﾟI know you don’t like lying.’_

Ushijima smiles at Tendou’s quick response, _’No, but I don’t think it was a problem. Are you ready for the winter market tomorrow?’_ He thinks a change in subject is needed, he knows that Tendou doesn’t like to dwell on the subject of his mother. She’s extremely strict, always expecting the best from Tendou, and until they’d attended Shiratorizawa together, she pushed with his coaches for Tendou to change his blocking style. Ushijima knows that university is a step above, that everyone would expect perfection, so he could become a professional, and Ushijima hadn’t been surprised when Tendou said he wanted to stop playing.

He forgot about his phone and blinks back down at the screen, where a new message is staring back at him, _’Yeah (*ノ・ω・）I can’t wait. I’m really excited, I’m gonna sleep now! See you tomorrow ‘Toshi✧’_

_’Goodnight Satori.’_ Ushijima changes and settles under his covers. He feels a little calmer now, he’s not sure if Tendou should be so comfortable with the way his mother talks to him. But he doesn’t want to keep thinking about it now, sleep is appealing after today.

* * *

Ushijima’s hands feel warm, he’s almost sweating and if it wasn’t so cold, he’d take off his gloves. He’s nervous. Tendou will be meeting him soon and he has his plan in the back of his mind. There’s a nice café nearby and they can get hot chocolate, then walk around and explore the winter market together, where Ushijima is planning to pick out a small gift for Tendou. Something that will help him convey his feelings, and if Tendou asks why then Ushijima can say it. He’s more than ready, he’s certain of that.

Tendou shows up, bouncing along the pavement and Ushijima smiles, feeling his heart swell, “Morning ‘Toshi!”

“Good morning. Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, yesterday was a pretty long day and I think I was so excited for today, I drained myself. How was your night?”

“Pleasant. I was also looking forward to today.”

Tendou wraps an arm around Ushijima’s right and they head into the market together. Ushijima would prefer somewhere quieter to confess to Tendou, so he lets Tendou explore all the little stalls, they pick out small gifts for their friends and their mothers. They’re going to be meeting up with their friends from Shiratorizawa at the weekend when everyone is free to meet-up. Ushijima is looking forward to it, and he’s sure Tendou is.

It’s nice watching the way he flitters around the stalls, trying different pieces of food. Ushijima tries some more of the savoury items that catch his eye. Finally, they filter out at the end and Ushijima notices a spot where they can sit. The air is cool and he notices Tendou tightening his scarf a little, “Y’know ‘Toshi, I’m glad we’re best friends. I couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else.”

All of Ushijima’s thoughts slide to the back of his mind, his words are stuck in his chest and the usual warmth he feels fizzles out into cold, almost like ice. He nods, feeling Tendou’s eyes on him, “Me too. I’m glad we met.”

“Sometimes it’s hard for me to believe we’ve known each other for so long.”

“It certainly feels like the past few years went by quickly.”

Tendou nods, “Yeah, sometimes I wish we could have stayed at Shiratorizawa, I had such a fun time there. But I’m also enjoying university, so it’s hard to decide.”

“Maybe one day you’ll know for sure.”

Tendou is certain he already knows because Shiratorizawa was when he realised his feelings for Ushijima and while he hasn’t acted on them yet (he keeps blaming his nerves), he wouldn’t want to have feelings for anyone else. Ushijima was his light, a strong force that always pulled him through.

After grabbing a meal together, they headed back and Tendou was tempted to say something. They headed off their separate ways to their houses, Tendou tried not to feel too disappointed about being away from Ushijima. In his dreams, he could imagine them being together and never needing to leave each other.

He was a little surprised to find that his mother was home when he returned, he tucked his shoes away and found her in the kitchen, “Hey mom.”

Haruna greets him with a soft smile then points at the bag, “What have you been buying?”

“It’s your gift.”

“Oh darling, that’s lovely. Thank you,” She turns back to the dishes and Tendou runs upstairs to hide the bag. He’s always been worried about his mom looking through his things. She’d gone through some stuff before and had burned a pile of his Shounen Jump, he hid anything since that moment. He’s quickly back downstairs and helps Haruna with drying the dishes. He hums softly while he works, sliding things back into the cupboards; a plate slips from his fingers and he can’t react quick enough before it crashes to the floor, “Satori! Pick that up at once and be careful!”

“Sorry.” Tendou mutters he’s already leaning down to pick up the pieces of ceramic, hissing softly when a sharp edge catches his skin.

“Honestly, you’re so useless sometimes. Why can’t you be more like Wakatoshi? He’s a lovely boy. Don’t get blood everywhere either, I just cleaned!” She tuts and makes her way out of the kitchen and leaves Tendou to clean up. He bites his lip and makes it through the last shards, carefully discarding them. He cleans his hands, covering the small cuts with plasters and then turns to clean up the floor, he doesn’t want there to be a single spot leftover, his mother would notice immediately. Once he’s done, he slumps upstairs to get some studying done.

* * *

Tendou puts off seeing Ushijima until the weekend arrives when they’re due to meet up with the volleyball team. And by the time Saturday comes around, the cuts on his hands have healed up nicely, he’s still got a few patched up with bandages and he’s hoping no-one will question it. He arrives a little early and is surprised to see Semi stood outside, “Eita-kun!” He runs up and almost makes it for a hug before a hand stops him, he turns to the source and raises an eyebrow at the appearance of Shirabu, “Kenjirou?” He looks between them then smiles, “How long were you planning to keep this a secret? Eita, I can’t believe you never told me that you confessed!”

“He didn’t. I confessed,” Shirabu huffs, his bangs shifting. Semi slides an arm over Shirabu’s shoulder, pulling him a touch closer, “Sorry peach.”

“Ah, you’re both gross.”

Before either of them could say anything, there’s a booming voice, “Play nice,” Tendou is glad to see Oohira, and he automatically tucks his head down in apology. He’s arrived with Kawanishi, who gives a small wave, “It’s nice to see you.”

Ushijima is the one to show up next, Tendou’s breath catches when their eyes meet and he hides his hands into his pockets, even though he has gloves on. Soekawa, Yunohama, Goshiki, and Yamagata all show up one after another, with greetings out of the way, they headed inside and spread out over four tables. Tendou is on the same table with Ushijima and he’s feeling too nervous to remove his gloves, he knows that Ushijima would notice a change with his hands and Tendou would rather avoid that conversation.

There’s a steady hand at his back and Tendou turns to see Soekawa offering him a small smile, “Make yourself comfortable Satori, it’s not like you to be so quiet.”

“It’s been a long week,” He grins and slides off his gloves, Soekawa pats his shoulder and turns to Kawanishi who is unusually talkative. Tendou is glad he didn’t say anything and his nerves settle, he wouldn’t know what to say if someone had asked about the cuts. Ushijima is talking with Oohira about volleyball and Tendou relaxes.

“Satori-senpai, how’s university going?”

“It’s fun! I love the classes, it’s really interesting how I’ll notice different shapes in things,” He smiles at Goshiki, who looks dazzled and leans forward a little, “You’d be a good subject to draw! Could I get a picture?” Goshiki nods and Tendou pulls out his phone to take a quick picture, “I’ll title it, Shiratorizawa’s next ace!”

“Wow! Thank you senpai. I still don’t think I’m quite as good as Ushijima-san.”

“You’re getting there Tsutomu! Keep pushing, you can do it!” Goshiki turns to Yunohama and nods frantically, “We need you out there.”

Tendou smiles. He’s glad to see that the team are holding up just fine after their graduation. He never doubted Goshiki either, he’d always been determined to fill the role of ace, a gap that would still miss Ushijima. No-one could replace him. Tendou’s eyes flitted over to his best friend and he found himself smiling softly, “You’ve got it bad, huh?”

“You’d know,” Tendou pokes his tongue out at Semi, who’s got Shirabu under his arm, “I suppose at least he dared to say something to you. That’ll never happen and you know me, I’m too chicken for that,” His voice is quiet, his eyes still trained on Ushijima, “He’s not scary. I’m just scared of losing him.”

“I don’t think you will.”

Tendou hums, waving off Semi’s words. He trusts Semi, almost as much as Ushijima, they’re good friends after all, but his nerves and worries always stop him from saying anything. Oohira is the one to get the group's attention and they order food. He feels a little more relaxed, Soekawa strikes up a conversation about an anime he’s just started and Tendou is eager to give his thoughts on it.

Ushijima has been watching Tendou out of his peripheral vision, immediately he noticed a few bandages on Tendou’s fingers, along with what looks like healed cuts (they’re scabbed over) and he’s worried about it. Even as he’d been chatting with Yunohama about the newer members that have joined the team and how Kawanishi admitted that he learned from Tendou. It’s nice to know, but he can’t stop thinking about what might have happened and when the food arrives, he picks at it. Tendou looks cheerful and he’s happily eating, gushing about how great some anime is and mentioning how he’s like to be involved with that once he leaves university. It’s a pleasant evening, with the team being back together, it truly feels like home and he tries his hardest to clear most of his plate.

A few order dessert, but Ushijima skips that and talks with Goshiki about his university experience (it seems the wing spiker has been asking all the former third-years) and he looks starry-eyed at the thought of university volleyball, of pushing himself further, “I want to end up at your university Ushijima-senpai!”

“You don’t need to call me that."

“Nothing else feels right and if I make it, you’ll still be there so you’ll still be my senpai. That will never change. You inspire me. I hope to beat your achievements.”

“Good luck. I have faith in you.” Ushijima doesn’t expect the way that Goshiki nods, resolute in his words. He could remember the first time he wished Goshiki luck, he’d looked astonished and claimed to prove Ushijima wrong and Ushijima had felt confused as to why Goshiki would say such a thing. A lot has changed in a year, it seemed. Maybe because Goshiki was now a senpai, there was probably players who aimed to be in his spot.

It was commendable and even Shirabu commented on how much Goshiki’s play-style had been improving. They also gush a little about the new first-years that had come to join the team, it seems that they’re eager to learn and always ask the older players about how great Ushijima is, “Wakatoshi, you’re already famous! I knew you would be, you are Shiratorizawa’s miracle boy!”

Hearing that old nickname from Tendou makes Ushijima’s heart flutter and he smiles, “You were always popular too Satori.”

Tendou huffs out a laugh, almost making a jibe at how they only knew him as _guess monster_, “It’s true!” It’s rare to hear an outburst from Kawanishi and Tendou raises a brow, “The first years are always asking where I learned from and you taught me a lot. I've tried guess blocking, but it’s not as nearly successful.”

“Ah, my precious kouhai, I was worried I didn’t teach you anything! You’ve got to keep practising, aim for 120%, then you can start to compare yourself to the great Satori!” There’s laughter following Tendou’s proclamation and he grins, glad to lighten the air after feeling a little down.

When they leave, it’s starting to snow and Tendou is glad to shove his hands back into his gloves, they’re out of view again too. Everyone begins to split off, saying goodbye and pulling a little tighter at their clothes. Tendou waves them off with a smile and he’s left alone with Ushijima who gently grabs his hands, “Satori, what happened? I saw your fingers.”

“Oh! Don’t worry about that,” Tendou quickly pulls his hands back and shoves them into his pockets, “I just broke something at home and caught myself a little. They’re healed now.”

“Satori-”

“Come on, we should get back. It’s too cold to be standing around,” He doesn’t want to hear any more of Ushijima’s questions. It’s too hard, he won’t be able to answer without lying and he doesn’t want to do that to Ushijima. Except for his feelings, Tendou always told everything to Ushijima and the same seemed to be returned. Ushijima was strong, blunt and honest, it was what Tendou needed.

A tense silence stretches along their walk back, pulled taut like the string of a guitar. Tendou is tempted to pluck at it, to pick up with his usual chatter about anime and manga, but one wrong note might leave them out of tune and he keeps his mouth shut.

When they reach their usual departure point, Tendou shifts, almost tempted to reach out to Ushijima. Instead, he takes a step away and smiles awkwardly, “I’ll see you later then!”

“Yeah,” Ushijima nods. He feels unusually heavy, he wants to ask, he wants Tendou to confide in him about anything. He’s certain there’s more to the situation, Tendou had been a little over-the-top, it wasn’t like him at all, it was like he was trying too hard. Ushijima swallows the words, he’ll wait until Tendou is ready, there’s no use trying to force anything, it’d probably only cause a rift between them, “Enjoy the rest of your night.”

“You too!” And Tendou is off, waving at Ushijima until he disappears around the corner. Ushijima’s hands clench into fists and he almost follows Tendou. _Almost_. He drags his feet homeward bound, his thoughts still filling with Tendou and his broken hands.

* * *

Once they’re back at university, the rest of the year seems to go by in a flash, their time is filled with exams and studying. For Ushijima, big games are going on and he has work too - Whereas Tendou found a job helping out with designing covers for a local magazine which is tailored to the universities and colleges in the area, it takes up most of his free time between classes.

When exams calm down, they have a short break and then they’re thrown back into lessons. Tendou hears from Semi that Shirabu got accepted into the same university, so they’re going to be living in the same apartment. It makes Tendou happy until he remembers how close he is to Ushijima, but how that distance feels like it’s a million miles away. They’re still best friends, just like they always have been and the lack of change makes Tendou berate himself for not saying something sooner.

Ushijima has already had people impressed in his playing, in his power. The Japan under-19s and his time at Shiratorizawa had put his name on the map. But his time at university has already seemed to heighten that fact, and Tendou is worried that it won’t take long for someone to recruit him full time. That Ushijima could eventually be off around the world, playing professionally, and Tendou will be left behind--_Forgotten_. It makes him feel nauseous.

Tendou has been talking to Kawanishi more since their winter meet-up and he’s surprised to find how encouraging and knowledgeable he is about friendship and love. He wonders what else Kawanishi might be hiding under his quiet demeanour. He hasn’t seen Ushijima since the start of second-year and they’re already a few weeks in. It worries him. They do text daily, but it isn’t the same.

There doesn’t seem to be time. It feels like his feelings are only increased by their time apart, there’s longing in his veins and he’s been tempted to show up at one of Ushijima’s games. After learning that Daishou is dating Ushijima’s roommate, it’s easy to find out the schedule and he’s planning to go with Daishou for the next game, which is coming up on Friday evening.

Tendou makes sure his schedule is cleared up, he crams in extra studying session and makes sure he has the day off work. After classes are finished, he’s going to meet with Daishou, who’s told Kuroo what’s going on and they’re going to head over. He’s excited for it to come and it urges him through the week.

So when Friday comes, he’s almost bouncing from the walls. Iwaizumi is the first to point it out, “Satori, are you okay?”

“I’m going to watch Wakatoshi tonight, it feels like a while since I’ve seen him.”

“Well, it’s good to see you back to your cheerful self, you’ve seemed down recently.”

“Don’t be silly Hajime! I’ve just been focused on classes.”

Iwaizumi nods, he doesn’t look convinced, but he doesn’t push it either and instead stands up, “Go get ready then, we’ve done plenty of studying for now,” Tendou bounces up, quickly packing away his notebooks. Yaku is heading over and he waves before rushing off to his dorm, “Ushijima must be blind.”

“He probably thinks it’s normal.” They nod together and decide to head for the cafeteria.

* * *

Tendou is vibrating in his seat, Daishou is next to him smirking at his behaviour, “Ushijima will spot you immediately.”

“Sorry,” Tendou tries to settle himself, his eyes eagerly watching the doors, “I’ve never seen Ushijima play from this perspective before. In junior high, it was always from the bench and then we played together in Shiratorizawa and I’ve watched videos, but it’s different from here. It’s exciting.”

“Yeah, I’m eager to watch Kuroo again.”

The doors open and the two teams line-up quickly. The audience is noisy and a few people are already cheering for Ushijima, Tendou sits up a little higher, watching as the game begins. Ushijima’s university take the first set easily, Tendou has seen Kuroo play before too and he’s still impressed with his playing. Ushijima seems on top of his game, as he usually is, and it’s clear that he’s already well-loved. Tendou prevents himself from shouting out to Ushijima, he cheers along with the crowd.

He ends up on the edge of the seat when the second set reaches deuce. They pull through with a slamming spike from Ushijima, which echoes through the room and Tendou jumps to his feet, unable to stop himself, “Miracle boy Wakatoshi is unstoppable!” Even with the cheering of the crowd, Ushijima turns after sharing a small celebration with the team, his eyes meet Tendou and he smiles.

Tendou’s heart swells, he waves back with a grin. He doesn’t miss Kuroo blowing a kiss to Daishou, who looks embarrassed but returns the gesture and waves. Once the congratulations are over and the team's filter off to the changing rooms, Tendou and Daishou pour out with the crowd. Daishou is quick to lead Tendou to a side-door, where Kuroo is waiting, grinning brightly, “Hello there.” The two embrace and Tendou’s stomach sinks a little, he’s happy for them, he just wishes that he could share the same thing with Ushijima.

“Satori, I wasn’t expecting to see you,” His voice pulls Tendou away from watching the couple, who are already slinking off together, he doesn’t know where and it’s nice to be alone with Ushijima, “It’s a pleasant surprise.”

“Yeah! The match was great, I mentioned to Suguru that it would be nice to get to watch one and he told me your schedule. Would you like to go for ice-cream?”

“That sounds great. I know somewhere nearby.” Ushijima leads Tendou to the small shop, they pick their ice-cream and then find a seat together, “This is like being back at Shiratorizawa.”

“It is, it’s nice. I know we’ve both been really busy recently, I’m glad we can spend a little time together today.”

“We should try to meet up on Sunday, I have the day free.”

“I can check my schedule, but I think it should be okay!”

“Good. I’d like to spend a day with you.” They smile at each other and a pleasant silence washes over them. Tendou is happy to enjoy Ushijima’s company again, just the two of them, it’s a nice reminder of the time they’d spent together in junior high. It’s comforting to be alone together.

“Ushijima-san!” The voice of a girl breaks Tendou’s bubble and he turns his head, there’s two stood there, one looks nervous and is blushing, “I just wanted to say that I loved the game! Please, accept this.” She holds out an envelope and Tendou is certain that it’s a confession.

“I can’t, I’m sorry,” Tendou has seen girls confess before, and how they’ve always walked away in a slump. But hearing it this close and the softness of Ushijima’s voice, he’s being kind, “There’s already someone I like.”

The girl tucked the envelope away and bowed, “Sorry for intruding!” Then she vanished with her friends.

Tendou turned back to Ushijima, a brow rose in curiosity, “I didn’t know there was someone you liked Wakatoshi!” He was surprised, but he knew that if he didn’t speak up, try to act like his usual self, then he’d break down. He didn’t want that, especially in front of Ushijima. His heartfelt like it was sinking with every moment, sitting here felt like a reminder of how they were only friends--how they would never be anything more, “Someone at your university?”

“No, it’s someone who I’ve liked for a while. I’ve been trying to confess.”

Tendou chuckled, he was trying to picture the moment in his head but the image wouldn’t still. Because Ushijima would never be like those girls, he’d stand there and say it directly, without any sign of a blush, “You’ll have to let me know how it goes.”

Ushijima wonders if this might be his moment. But Tendou is already getting up to his feet, he returns his bowl and Ushijima looks down at his own. Most of the ice-cream has melted now, and he doesn’t want to make a mess trying to salvage anything, so he returns his bowl too and they take a slow walk back. There’s curiosity nipping at his tongue, “Is there anyone you like?”

Tendou hums, nodding, “Yeah, I guess I do,” Ushijima is surprised now, he stares at the top of Tendou’s hair, trying not to feel upset by Tendou’s statement. His throat is dry and no words will form in his mouth. His feet seem to be moving without a purpose and when Tendou bounces forward, already waving, he wants to reach out. He wants to say everything that’s on his mind, but now he knows for sure that his feelings won’t be returned and he deflates, “I’ll text you later!”

“Yeah. Bye!” Tendou grins, then he heads off toward his dorm. Ushijima’s limbs feel heavy and trudges off to his dorm.

* * *

“We need to do something. They’re hopeless.”

Iwaizumi scoffs, “I wonder what gave that away.”

“They’re hopelessly in love,” Oikawa nods, Kuroo sniggers and nods too, “What if we just lock them in a room?”

“I’m honestly not even convinced that would work,” Daishou’s comment has them all agreeing, and Kuroo sighs, “Of course, there’s no harm in trying. But we’d have to wait for them to be together again.”

“Maybe after the next game? You could ask Tendou to come along again, just say you enjoyed the company.”

“I’ll do anything! I appreciate Tendou, he’s amazing, but he never stops talking about Ushijima.”

“Bold of you to assume that once they start dating, they’ll ever shut up about each other.”

Iwaizumi chuckles, and shakes his head at Oikawa, “You’re an idiot.”

Oikawa shrugs, “Can we stay focused?” They nod and Kuroo drops down a book where they can write down ideas for how to get Tendou and Ushijima together.

* * *

The plan doesn’t work out and Kuroo feels a little frustrated. Ushijima has five drawings of himself, from Tendou and they’re all in frames now. He wonders how neither one of them have noticed the way they feel for each other, it’s pretty obvious.

They don’t get a chance to pan out anything else for making sure the two end up together, exams are rough and volleyball is taking up a lot of time. It seems like there’s no hope and Kuroo begins to understand _why_ they haven’t confessed.

The third-year is their busiest time, with classes and volleyball, then Ushijima has his work. He’s finally saved up enough money to buy Tendou the figurine he’d seen in the shop and he’s planning to pick it up before they head to Miyagi for winter break. Naniko has already invited Tendou to stay with them, his mom’s going to be away on business and Tendou looks excited to be coming over.

It’s been years since they had a sleepover and Ushijima can’t stop thinking about it. He knows what he’s going to say and he’s ready for rejection. He’s aware that Tendou likes someone, but he needs to get his feelings off his chest before they graduate.

Ushijima’s coach has already told him that someone is very interested in scouting him and he wants to say everything he needs because he doesn’t want to lose the moment again. Tendou is been busy with an internship at a local manga company, they’re still growing, but Tendou’s been learning and he’s intent on getting more experience. Ushijima is glad to see him flourish.

* * *

Tendou is grateful to be busy. It keeps him from thinking about Ushijima too much, but he isn’t happy. They meet up almost every weekend and get lunch together, and Tendou always feels like there are a thousand miles between them. It doesn’t feel the same and he’s not as comfortable leaning on Ushijima with the knowledge that he likes someone. Since Tendou spoke about his feelings, he’s worried Ushijima will start to question him.

He’s been to a few more games with Daishou and he still loves watching Ushijima play. They all go out together after to celebrate a win or to wind down and find a distraction after a loss. Daishou and Kuroo are very close and sometimes Tendou feels a little out of place, he wonders if Ushijima feels uncomfortable too. If he does, he doesn’t say anything about it.

Tendou can’t stop thinking about winter break. He’s glad that he won’t be with his mother, or left in Tokyo. He’s made more friends since moving, and he wouldn’t mind spending time with them, but the appeal of a sleepover at Ushijima’s house is too nice to pass up.

Daishou is still trying to get Tendou to confess but his nerves are too much. They spend most nights talking about love. Daishou is smitten with Kuroo, despite his tough demeanour. They went out as a group for a game of laser tag, during their short summer break and Daishou had been intent on taking Kuroo down. Only to get shot in the back by Oikawa, and the two walked off together, with Kuroo’s arm slung over Daishou’s shoulder, still laughing. It had been a fun day and Ushijima had been smiling the whole day, it was a blessing for Tendou, he always loved Ushijima’s smile.

* * *

When winter break finally comes around, Tendou is grateful to have his studying finished and some time off from work. They head back to Sendai, seen off by their friends. They meet up with the team again, where Semi and Shirabu are still practically on top of each other, Tendou never fails to comment on how gross they are.

Goshiki is the one to show up last. He’d missed out on going to Ushijima’s university, but he was still pushing himself and was at a sporting college close to Sendai. Everyone is proud of his achievements, especially Ushijima who’d given as much luck and encouraging words as possible.

It’s always good to see everyone, Kawanishi is a lot more talkative now, it was like it just took a little longer for him to pop out of his shelf and he can comfortably make jokes about their time at Shiratorizawa. He thanks Ushijima, who’s confused but accepts the praise.

When they return, Naniko has already prepared dinner for them and she greets both of them with a hug, “I hope you enjoyed your day!”

“It was so fun! I always love seeing how far the team has come and it’s strange that it’s been long enough to be wishing Tsutomu luck at college.”

“He’s grown so much, we all have.”

Naniko smiles and ushers them into the kitchen. There seems to be too much food and she giggles, “Sorry boys, I wanted to make sure there was enough and I think I did too much.”

“We’ll try our hardest!”

Ushijima doesn’t push himself past two plates, he doesn’t want to be ruining his nutrition. Tendou tries to get through as much as possible and then Naniko freezes the rest, promising that they can both take some back when they return to university. They help with cleaning up, Tendou’s intent on washing the dishes, so Ushijima dries and Naniko puts everything back to their rightful place.

Once the kitchen is decent, they retire upstairs while Naniko settles onto the couch to watch a movie. Tendou had been talking about an anime he wanted to show Ushijima, and by his excitement on the train, Ushijima wanted to see more of that. He remembers the figurine he has tucked away and retrieves the bag from his closet, “Satori, I got you a gift.”

“Huh?” He takes the bag from Ushijima, who is quick to sit with Tendou on the floor. He opens the bag then unwraps the box. His face says a thousand things and Ushijima stares, trying to burn the image into his brain.

“What do you think?”

“I love it! Thank you ‘Toshi!” Tendou grins and throws himself at Ushijima, holding him tightly, “You didn’t need to.”

“I wanted to,” Ushijima gently holds Tendou’s face, taking in every inch, “I like it when you’re happy.” It feels like Tendou is pulling him in and he has always managed that. Ushijima is questioning if Tendou might truly be from outer-space because it feels that way, and Ushijima doesn't mind it, he enjoys being abducted. It's thrilling.

Tendou’s staring at Ushijima’s lips, they’re too close and he’s been thinking about it for a while...Since they’d started at Shiratorizawa together. It had been slow, like a fire starting to flicker in his chest. A month into playing volleyball together, even just practising there, he’d found himself staring at Ushijima far too many times. Tendou reaches out slowly and when Ushijima doesn’t move away, Tendou touches his cheek. His long fingers slide to the back of Ushijima’s head and he pulls him down, their lips meet. The kiss is soft but a little awkward but they make the most of the touch and when they’re finally pulling away to catch their breath.

“Wakatoshi,” It comes out breathless and Tendou pauses, catching himself. He can’t stop smiling, “I’ve been wanting that for so long, I like you.”

“You should have told me, I’ve liked you since junior high,” Ushijima’s bluntness on the subject makes Tendou blush. It’s been years since then, he wonders when it began, “I didn’t know what it meant until I asked my mother in our final year.”

_Oh_. Tendou can feel his face heating up more and he hides it in Ushijima’s shoulder, breathing deeply. Looking back, he’d always felt differently towards Ushijima, he hadn’t noticed it until they went to Shiratorizawa together because Ushijima had been his only friend and it was normal. Then he made friends with his teammates, made friends outside of Shiratorizawa too and he came to the realisation that, with Ushijima, he felt different. It was nice like someone had put kindling in Tendou’s chest and started a fire; he was warm and whole, “‘Toshi, I’m so happy.”

“I am too. I was worried about telling you, I...I know my feelings don’t come across very well. I can see that and I’ve always been used to telling things straight, it was hard hiding this.”

“Really? I never had a clue, you must be better than you think.”

“I was always jealous of Semi, you two were close during high school.”

“‘Toshi, are you serious?” It was a silly question and Tendou was already shaking his head, putting a hand up to stop Ushijima from answering that. He knew Ushijima was always serious, he kept his answers straight cut and it was one thing that Tendou always liked about him. Ushijima wouldn’t fake how he felt, he didn’t lie and play around like that; Tendou always hated people that put on a charade, he saw through all that and it made him sick how people could lie so easily, pretend to be something they weren’t, “I know you are. But I never saw any of that, I never knew. Eita was the person I always went to for advice, he helped me realise that I didn’t just have friendly feelings towards you.”

“It’s taken us a while to get here.”

“But we are here, and I’m thankful for the way things have been. You’ve always been there when I needed you. ‘Toshi,” Tendou smiled softly, running his hand down Ushijima’s cheek, “I--” He cut himself off, biting his lip a little.

Ushijima smiled, he pulled Tendou into another kiss, stronger this time and full of emotion. When they pulled away, he spoke again, “I know, you don’t need to say it yet. I feel the same.”

“Thank you,” Tendou smiles, then he chuckles a little, remembering what Ushijima had said about Semi. It was fair to end his plight here, "You know that Eita and Kenjirou are dating?"

"Yes, I know that now."

"You remember the first year of university, they were practically showing it off! It made me jealous. He told me that it happened in third year. He said it felt like _love at first sight_, or something."

Ushijima's breathing stutters and he stares at Tendou, unmoving, "Don't you believe in that?"

"It sounds like it's from a manga."

"Satori, what if I felt that way?"

This time, Tendou is the one blown away. Ushijima was always a rational type, he'd expected him to say that there was no such thing, that Semi had probably just been attracted to Shirabu. But Tendou had heard right because Ushijima looks like he's waiting for an answer, "I could believe it too. It's always been us."

"Yes. I wouldn't want anyone else." Tendou is right. They've always needed each other, it's an unspoken secret. No-one else needed to know. Tendou reaches out for another kiss, met by Ushijima's strength. He can feel it running through his body, he can remember the moment Ushijima had approached his table and asked to sit down. How the whispering didn't seem to touch him, Tendou always needed that strength. It was right here now, beneath his lips, under his fingers. It was indescribable, and Tendou could only hold on, silently begging for Ushijima to never leave.

Ushijima squeezed back, his hold tight but gentle, delicate enough to hold something even smaller than Tendou. Maybe it was a future he dreamed of, and he could taste it on Ushijima's tongue. They would always need each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!<3<3  
I'm taking a break from uploading for a while because I have a few projects that I want to focus on.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally inspired by [this tumblr post](https://whatachaos.tumblr.com/post/143076065234).  
Then I had the pleasure of reading _iahwnw_, and this idea just sky-rocketed. (which, if you haven't read it, please consider doing so!)


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